Champions League - Results

So these were the actual results from the last round of the Champions League.
As you can see my predictions, in the post before, were way off. So way off in fact, i've gone and checked in, then out, then back into a rehab centre so i can get my shit together for the second leg. In a fortnight i'll be shaving my head and attacking the players of the teams that defy my predictions with pointy golf umbrellas! Watch out Crespo!

Celtic 0 - 0 AC MIlan
PSV 1 - 0 Arsenal
Lille 0 - 1 Manchester United
Real Madrid 3 - 2 Bayern Munich

AS Roma 0 - 0 Lyon
Barcelona 1 - 2 Liverpool
FC Porto 0 - 1 Chelsea
Inter Milan 2 - 2 Valencia

Champions League Round-Up

So these predictions are a bit late; but you know, it's a hard job looking after Britney Spears when she's not in rehab. She just wonders off and comes back days later looking like she's auditioned for 'V for Vendetta II'. Its crazy shit i tells ya.

Anyway, back to more important news at hand. These were my predictions going into this first-leg elimination round. I will follow this up with the eventual results and as always critique the good, the bad and the ugly.

Celtic 1 - 1 AC MIlan
PSV 0 - 2 Arsenal
Lille 1 - 2 Manchester United
Real Madrid 1 - 1 Bayern Munich

AS Roma 1 - 1 Lyon
Barcelona 2 - 0 Liverpool
FC Porto 1 - 2 Chelsea
Inter Milan 3 - 1 Valencia

Double for Ronaldo. Capello still a douche bag!

While Fabio Capello continues to make a mess of his coaching position at Real, the player he lost faith in and sold to AC Milan only a couple of weeks ago, has over the weekend scored a double and assisted in his teams third.

The Ronaldo of now, may not be the Ronaldo of 4-5 years ago, but then isn't that just normal anyway? People can't help ageing, unless they're Farrah Fawcett and look younger now than they did 80 years ago! so it's only natural that he's put on a few Kenny G's over time. It's quite simple really; he's not a malnourished, street kid running round the streets of Rio anymore. The only thing overweight about him is his Fat pay checks, and you know what they sat about Fat pay checks?... they get Fit bitches!

Wasn't he rumoured to have been caught in an orgy with Roberto Carlos and 9 beauties!? That deserves a double Respect! Even if it is just a rumour!

Who said Howards approval rating had fallen!?

Is this not one of the funniest things you've seen in sports!? When else would you ever get the chance to kiss the Prime Minister of Australia on the forehead like this, (without being tackled to the ground and pummeled by security)?
Shit I’m full of questions this morning! Anyway, full creds to Kristian Sarkies for taking the piss!

On a more serious note though, why is Howard trying to jump on the football band wagon? Again? We saw him splashed all over the papers in his green and gold track suit during the World Cup Finals last year and last night he was an honorary guest at the match. Would it be that his approval ratings have dropped and he's trying to reach out to a growing minority, as Jeff Kennett did with the Greek supporters of South Melbounre in the NSL days? Also, where on earth was Bracks? Why wasn't he there, he's normally in on the action when a Victorian team gets a glimpse of the lime light? I was also gonna ask where John So was, but then i remembered that he was making up the ass end of the awakening dragon for Chinese New Year down 'China Town'... looks like the real dragon awakened at the Telstra Dome last night Johnny... I say, get those pollies out of sport and leave it for the people, the true fans!

Ps. Does anyone know that hottie behind Sarkies? If you do... Respect!

WARNING: This is not a training drill!

Melbourne, were on fire tonight and absolutely demolished Adelaide in a 6-0 stampede at the Telstra Dome in front of 55,436 boisterous fans. Adelaide were almost as bad as Kingston City SC (Victorian Prem. League), who were beaten by Melbounre 7-0 in a pre-season match mid last year). The Blues were fired up from the word go and Kevin Muscat let his presence be felt in the 3rd minute when he crunched Diego on the half way line. After a two minute delay, the show continued in the name of one Archie Thompson. I still can't believe he scored 5 out of the 6 goals in a Grand Final match. Its just unbelievable. Full credit must be given to Fred, for playing a near flawless match and for assisting in 4 of the goals scored. He made everything look so simple. From his overlapping runs to his inch perfect passes, he clearly was the difference in this match. Also, as always, a shout out to Kristian Sarkies for bagging the 6th after being on the field for only 3min. It was a shame he didn't get more time on the park, especially when his first and only shot was a goal... but he kept a 100% strike rate, that's impressive for anyone's stats. It's a shame that Adelaide and Sydney will be representing Australia in the Asian Champions League this year and that Melbourne will have to wait till next year before they get a sniff at Asian success... but thats another issue a I will touch on it in the coming days.

Watch all the games goals here:

Game On, Baby!

So a tough season's slog has come down to today. It is the spectacle known as Grand Final day for perhaps the two best teams in the A-League this year. It has the making to be a ripper day, in front of a buzzing 56,000 crowd and a scortching Melbournian sun. Have you got your tickets!?

If the match today is anything like my game on Fifa '07 this morning, played out by PSG(subbed as Melbourne) and Monaco(subbed as Adelaide), my white striker (Allsop) scored the opener with a header in the 5th minute and then my darker striker (Thompson) added the cherry in the 78th, with a 2 defender beating turn on the edge of the box, this match is going to be a ripper! I controlled possession for most of the game, but it was my final touch that kept getting intercepted and even though i only managed a few shots on goal, they were deadly enough to do the job. Meanwhile, Monaco... er, Adelaide... er, Hicksville, played a tough defensive game and only managed a few shots at goal, not really troubling my keeper too much.

I have a feeling that Fred is going to play a very important role and that he may even get the second... or the third (why not?), anyway, enough said. Kick off is at 6pm and there's lots of drinking to be done before we get to the stadium.

C'Mon Melbourne!!

Kosmina, you moron!

Kosmina has been banned from coaching Hicksville United for this Sunday's Grand Final against the mighty Melbourne. The footage showed him running past referee Matthew Breeze screaming something like "Im gonna bend Daniel Beltrame over, cause i can't believe he actually won me a finals match! Matty, you should join us in the showers after this on field, goal-line orgy!"

Now the only reason Kosmina was reported is cause Breeze called dibs on the 20inch dildo floating round the Adelaide locker rooms after the match, but Kossie got to it first, and there you have it... true story!

Bring Sarkies home!

HELP ME! He screams while he raises his arms in the air and looks cluelessly into an on coming photo. Let's get this kid back into his Melbourne Victory squad so he can prepare for the A-League grand final! Rumour has it that he was injured in preparation for the second leg of the Olyroos match against Chinese Taipei. Mind you, he completely romped that team single handedly last week, scoring 4 out of the 11 goals. So even if the team didn't show up for their next match, to be played tomorrow, they'd only lose 3-0 and still qualify for the next round. Go on Robbie get him home and rested for the big one on Sunday!

In all seriousness though, what the bloody hell is that place anyway!? Is it China!? Is it Taiwan!? To me it sounds like something you'd order from Uncle Phong's Blue Dragon Takeaway store... hold the black-bean sauce please Mr.Phong!

Becks: Keepin' it Real!

It's gotta be a divine gift or some shit like that, but on Saturday afternoon (AEST), after reading that Beck's had been chosen in the line up for Real against Sociedad, i said to the missus, "i reckon he's gonna score tonight... and if i was him i wouldn't celebrate the goal... just to prove a point". Low and behold the sucker scored and even though he was mobbed by all the players of the team, he didn't really celebrate... mind you the camera kept flicking across to coach Capello, who could only sit there and clap.

With calls like the one i plucked at the weekend, I should be awarded the coaching job at Real. Man it must really suck to be such a douche bag!
A few weeks ago Capello was quoted in the media saying that Beck's wouldn't play in his squad again. Fast forward to the weekend, with his job on the line and here's Beck's saving his ass... ah, the irony!

Watch his goal here: