Ronaldo Wins FIFPro Player of The Year

Eh... FIFPro Player of the Year... sound's more like a video game challenge than an acclaimed award. Anyway kudos to Ronaldo, he had a ripper year... the only thing I'm really impressed about though, is the amount of different coloured boots he has worn since this time last year and the one's he is wearing now. At last count it was 5 different colours. Go you Nike pr machine!



Download a wallpaper of Ronaldo wearing the white Nike Mercurial Vapor IV here.

C. Ronaldo older news:
Review - Manchester Uniter 2 v Bolton 0
Hot Air Everywhere!
Homage: Mercurial Vapor IV Green

Robinho Flying High!

He has been a revelation since his big money move to Manchester and the team is actually better off with him around. There were many skeptics when he made the switch from the 'Merengues', I myself was one of them, but Robinhood looks to be settling and is putting his wads of money where his feet are. With 6 goals in as many matches he's in fine form, so here's a look at his hat-trick against Stoke City at the weekend. And for those keeping count City's unbeaten streak is now at a season high 2!

Robinho's hat-trick:


Robinho older news:
Review - Machester City 6 v 0 Portsmouth
Review - Machester City 1 v 3 Chelsea
Transfer Window - Closed!
Transfer Talk

Review - Tottenham 2 v 0 Bolton

As if I wasn't proven wrong enough already, this topped the cake and added the cherry. Tottenham got their first win of the season, while Pavlyuchenko bagged his first goal... shit, it only took him 6 weeks! Bent added insult to injury to round off a much improved performance for Tottenham. Maybe Redknapp's tenure won't be as short as I initially stated days ago, cause he still has an impressive squad to chose from. Although I still can't give him credit for this win... I'm giving it to Ramos as a gift wrapped farewell present from White Heart Lane.

Match highlights:

Review - Chelsea 0 v 1 Liverpool

Well, well, well... who would have thought a scrappy deflected goal from Xabi Alonso was all it took to break Chelsea's 86 match unbeaten streak at Stamford Bridge. Certainly not me. In fact I’m surprised that Liverpool kept a clean sheet. Much praise must go to Benitez and co. for not only winning this match but for securing first spot… although losing to Portsmouth tomorrow would be a real buzz kill… especially if Crouch bags the winner! Reckon he’ll relive the crazy robot dance from Germany'06 if he does? I hope he does it in front of the Kop... that would make him cooler than He-man!

Match highlights:

Prediction - Chelsea v Liverpool

By far the match of the round, it's being hyped as a 6 pointer capable of giving the winning team the driver's seat to the title. The reality of it is that both teams are in scintillating form and would be hard to bet against them. Of late, Chelsea are playing intelligent football whilst Liverpool have been grinding out results. The blues have been leaving nothing to chance and are killing teams off early, whereas the reds have been relying on lucky strikes and late match winners to do the damage. I'm actually enjoying big Phill's style of play over Rafa's and even though I think Chelsea will take the three points, it's hard to go against a Liverpool team who are confident and have that never say die attitude. It'll be a close game as most of their previous encounters have been... so this is a really difficult match to predict.

I predict:
A 1 - 1 result seems imminent, but I'm going to go with:
Chelsea 2 v 1 Liverpool, based on the shear fact that Toress is injured and Liverpool will be missing that spark up front.

It's time to go... Ramos!

Like my makeshift internet connection, Juande Ramos' contract with Tottenham hotspurs has expired... but unlike "The Perfect On(c)e", I am able to order another latte and reconnect. Ok, so Tottenham's dismal loss to Udinese in the UEFA Cup on Thursday night was the last straw for the powers that be and just like the judging of a Big Brother contestant, the announcement read:

...that Damien Comolli, Sporting Director, Juande Ramos, Head Coach and First Team Coaches, Marcos Alvarez and Gus Poyet, have left the Club, with immediate effect. We wish them well," read a statement on the club's official website.

As I've mentioned before, I got excited when Ramos moved to Whiteheart Lane and I'm not even a fan of the Londoners. I knew that he would bring many brilliant ideals to the table and I even stipulated he'd be bringing some bazaar worldly possessions. What he also brought was the Spanish way of keeping possession and playing football and the team actually started to respond! The biggest issue he faced last season was a lack of depth in the squad, so he began recruiting and he recruited well, but in the process also lost his attacking line. In an attempt to patch it up, he inevitably led to his own demise. Shiiiiiit! if my job depended on the goal scoring form of Darren Bent and Roman Pavlyuchenko I would have walked a long time ago, not waited for the axe to be swung. Regardless of this though, I think his sacking is a darn shame and English football will be worse off without his knowledge on the touchlines. I guess this is the business of the modern game and these days there is too much at stake to allow a tactician time to see his new players take to his style of football and gel into a European force. Anyway, now Harry Redknapp has agreed terms with the Lillywhites... but somehow I just don't think he will cut it either. The team is lacking confidence and that ambition to win so really all anyone can do is sit back and watch them implode... Ramos' exit is just the beginning.

Houston we have a problem!

I’ve been pulling out my hair recently and no it's not my attempt to look like a balding Wayne Rooney (can you believe he's only 22!)... im pulling my hair out cause the monkeys that run the two main telcos round here can't get their shit together and get me internet access. I mean c'mon man... no internet access, isn't that part of a UN resolution or some shit. That everyone around the world must have access to food, clean drinking water and ultra high speed broadband internet! Anyway I send my apologies on the delayed posts, fingers crossed I'll be back up and posting regularly in no-time... although I wouldn't be holding my breath if I were you... I'm in a country where anything can happen and it usually does!

Champions League - Matchday 3 Predictions

Sir Ferg has come out and said that he'll be resting C.Ronaldo against Celtic later tonight...

The adrenalin can carry you through the one game, but then the form dips a little bit," Ferguson said in The Sun. "When players have been out for so long there is a little response to playing all the time."

Fergie is probably correct in his analysis of Cristiano's form and therefore the move to rest him is valid. Gee, it's not like United have a shortage of world class attacking options. Now he'll probably be able to play Tevez, Rooney and Berba and maybe even slot Nani in there somewhere too... I just hope Nike made him some ballet shoes for tonight.

Tuesday matches
Villarreal 2 v 0 AaB
Man. United 2 v 0 Celtic
Bayern 1 v 1 Fiorentina
Steaua 1 v 2 Lyon
Fenerbahçe 1 v 1 Arsenal
Porto 3 v 2 Dynamo Kyiv
Zenit 2 v 1 BATE
Juventus 2 v 2 Real Madrid

Wednesday matches
Bordeaux 1 v 2 CFR Cluj
Chelsea 3 v 1 Roma
Internazionale 2 v 0 Anorthosis
Panathinaikos 3 v 1 Bremen
Shakhtar 0 v 0 Sporting
Basel 0 v 3 Barcelona
Atlético 2 v 2 Liverpool
PSV 1 v 1 Marseille

Review - Manchester Uniter 4 v West Brom 0

What a week for Wayne. Try saying that 10 times fast!
Bagging 5 in 3; two braces for Queen and country and single for the Red Devils.
To tell you the truth, initially I was skeptical about how Sir Ferg was going to slot Berbatov, Rooney, Ronaldo and Tevez into his starting lineup without sacrificing other key positions in the team and how they would all gel together... well seeing as Tevez has been warming the bench lately, Rooney and Berba have been able to work on their defense splitting routines, throw Ronaldo into the mix and United are starting to look very deadly on the attack. Now all United are missing is a pair of ballet shoes for Nani so he can do his own routine of back flips over by the corner of the pitch and the team will be complete.

Match highlights:

Review - Middlesbrough 0 v 5 Chelsea

It was another romping by Chelsea and another match in which Niklas Anelka failed to score. Someone put this chop stick out of his misery already! Watching him play alongside Chelsea's plethora of talented individuals is like watching a giddy teenager around a girl he has a crush on... the closer he gets to her the more control he loses and the more idiotic he becomes... and the more you pray that a bunch of heavy set guys are going to walk past and rugby tackle him to the ground... mid boner! Either way you know he's going home empty handed.

Match highlights:

Review - Belarus 1 v 3 England

Gerrard scored a trademark long-range thump the way only Gerrard can and then he undid all that hard work and almost killed himself trying to do a trademark knee slide to the sideline...haha douche-bag! I think he hurt himself slightly too. Spot the look of anguish on his face after he's mobbed by the rest of the team. Things then got shaky for England till Wayne "The Thing" Rooney, popped up and scored a brace. Lucky England.
So that makes it 4 from 4 and the team is finally living up to it's primadonna status. What I want to know though is who decided the teams that they'd be playing against in this qualification group. They're up against some "quality" opposition the likes of Andorra, Kazakhstan, Belarus and Ukrain and this must be the easiest group they've had in some years (Euro qualifiers included). If they can't top this group or God forbid qualify for the World Cup, the whole team, from Capello all the way down to the half time orange peelers, should be dressed in drag, have their knee caps bashed in and then kicked out onto the streets of England to be dealt with by the angry mobs who won't get to watch them in South Africa... you know, just to save on the heartbreak of not making another major tournament.

Match highlights:

Review - Australia 4 v 0 Qatar

The Socceroos have absolutely destroyed Qatar... again; only this time they had to wait 30min for the torrential rains to stop. It was a night when the moisture not only dampened the pitch and the pants of the wary Qataris, but also the enthralled Australians, who came out firing and ready for a fight. And it only took 9 minutes for none other than Tim Cahill to get on the score sheet with a nicely executed left foot volley. Less than ten minutes later he was at it again, only this time winning a dubious penalty decision which Emerton stepped up to convert.
Qatar, somewhat got better as time went on, but never really threatened the Oz defense so the Socceroos continued to push. Emerton grabbing his second and Kennedy to put the Qataris to rest with a strike in the 76th.

Overall it was a solid performance by Australia but that wasn't the only piece of solidity in the Oz ranks... did you see the size of Scott McDonald!? Either he’s bulking up for a long British winter or he's been getting stuck into some serious grub over the last few months! And yes, the Scottish press have been giving him stick about it lately and yes he's come out to say that he's not overweight (in his defense, horizontal stripes aren't very slimming) but can you blame them!? Not since Mark Viduka has the Socceroos jersey ever looked so tight... speaking of which I can't wait for Dukes to come back cause then Australia will have Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb bouncing around the forward line battering their way to goals... mmmm, on that note, I'll have 4 grilled flakes and a burger with the lot, care to join me Scott!?

Prediction - Australia v Qatar

Tim "Pounce at any time" Cahill makes his long awaited return to the national team tomorrow, in yet another round of qualifiers. And boy could it have not come sooner. With key players out in the midfield and attack (Breschiano, Kewell and Grella), it's warming to know that Cahill will be lurking around the box and pushing his way forward in Australia's attacks.

At this stage it's unclear as to which players will make the starting line-up, but one thing is crystal; if the Socceroos win they top the group... even though this achievement could be harder than first perceived. Australia have beaten Qatar in their last two qualification matches and on both occasions Qatar were without their highly skilled ‘Nationalised' Brazilians (cheating bastards!)... anyway, they will start the match cautiously as Australia will come out looking for early goals... like other times, I think they will absorb the pressure and counter attack when possible cause it's a technique that almost worked for them the previous two times. Hopefully the experience of Craig Moore (yes he will be selected) will keep the OZ defense alert and aware throughout the match to stop advancing Qatar attacks.

And just on another note, I heard Jorge Fossati stepped down as coach of Qatar cause he couldn't bear to lose to Australia again... haha... let's see what the cheese eating surrender monkey Bruno Metsu can do with his half-bred team of Qatari-Brazilians.

I predict:
Australia 2 v 1 Qatar

Live streaming:
Iraqgoals.com

Older Socceroos reads:
Review - Uzbekistan 0 v 1 Australia
Prediction - Uzbekistan v Australia
Socceroos progress to final round

Champions League - Matchday 2 Review

Well thanks to Berbatov and his inability to crack a smile, even after scoring his first two goals in United (away) colours, I spent the last two nights held captive by Bulgarian rebels deep in their mountains. I don’t exactly understand why I was there… but from what I figured it had to do with the happiness of their idol... "If Dimitar isn’t happy, then no one in Bulgaria is!" demanded one of my captors. It all got blurry from that point on and I don’t know if it was the pistol whipping I was dealt or some sort of divine intervention, but whatever it was, it seemed to have saved me. Lying face first in a pool of my own blood and vomit, I remembered the name of one Bulgarian who had brought so much joy to people from all over the globe… Valentina Hasan... so I started to belt out whatever lyrics I could muster... Ken Leeeeeeee tolibu dibu douchoo!
Come morning I was released and had to settle for watching highlights of all the matches on footytube.com. Morale of this story... Smile and you may save someone's life! FFS Berba! You're at the top of your game, playing for the English and European Champions and without doubt putting away some serious models off the pitch... life couldn't be all that bad!


Keeping to the theme of first time scorers, Robbie Keane FINALLY got on the score sheet for Liverpool! It wasn't a goal to write home about... and looked like it came off his shin rather than cleanly off his boot, but hey a goal is a goal... kind of like how a boat is a boat and a car is a car... anyway, next time I cruise past in my Aston Martin DB9S and you’re putting along in your little Daihatsu hey man don't feel so bad... a car is a car. Gerards goal on the other hand! See what I mean?


It's not fair! I want to be an Argentine wonder kid too! They get to have all the fun and score all the goals... and they all get to carry the pressures of being labeled the next Maradona. And deep down you just know that when they play together and all their powers combine they'll create a team so powerful, it'll suck the footballing powers out of all the countries of the world and promote them all to an existence without skill and take them back to a time when the long ball was a style of play... oh my! Help us Captain Planet! For you are the only one who can save us from this peril... well you and El Diego himself... but he's too busy making a list of all the players that will qualify as himself, number 2.


As if the ordeal with those crazy Bulgarian's wasn't enough, you'll have to forgive me for being a little confused at the moment. Chelsea (The Blues) were in yellow, Man Utd (Red Devils) were in blue, Barcelona wearing cyan and Lyon wearing what looks to be high visibility safety vests... reminds me of an article I wrote last year. Anyway, to more pressing matters at hand, Drogba injured... again! I think there's more to this than we're being led to believe! I think this could be the beginning of an orchestrated move away from 'The Bridge'. Watch this space... this could be "Special"!