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Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Merry Christmas Everybody!

I wished for two things this Christmas, the first can’t really be mentioned cause it would probably land me in prison. The second however was that we are blessed with some descent matches during the festive season and I’m really hoping this one comes true, cause all I’ve managed since making that wish is a stupid virus on my computer that has destroyed my programs and made me settle for MS Paint to put my header images together (hence the lack of). I also wanted to take this opportunity to say I’ll be heading away for a few days, so my posts may not be as frequent. I also wanted to thank all the readers and comment makers of this blog and wish you a very Merry Christmas and a cracking start to the New Year... be safe and remember to check back as often as you can for updates to the blog, there are plenty comin... Ho, Ho, Ho!

Monday, 22 December 2008

Beckham Unveiled by Milan

Beckham steps up the charm for adoring fans at the San Siro Stadium in Milan
Males of Milan Italy, lock up your wives / girlfriends / mistresses, there's is a new boy in town... oh and while you're at it get yourselves a makeover cause this dude make's even your women look ugly! Money's probably got a part to play in it but seriously this guy looks great every time he steps out of the house and yes, even on to the football field! I don't know, maybe it's the feminine side of me that he appeals to or maybe it's that I look at him and think "Imagine how much pussy I'd get if I looked / dressed like that", I can't pinpoint it down to one specific thing, all I know is that it's a charm that seems to work across so many levels and it sure as hell has AC Milan rubbing their hands together at the thought of him representing their team... but then again why wouldn't they, they just got 'em on a set of 'Golden Balls'.
The PR machine that is Beckham steamrolls into Dubai on January 6th with the rest of the Milan crew for a "winter camp" and no doubt the team will be a hit all round. Photo ops with the sheiks, selling jerseys to the masses, making women gush left right and center... ah it's a tough life. Anyway, I'll be interested to see how well Becks plays throughout his loan time at Milan, cause if he's a failure there's no doubt that he'll be cursed forever by the firey Italian media... Grazie Milano!

Review - Arsenal 1 v 1 Liverpool

Robbie Keane scores a rare goal for Liverpool in the match against Arsenal
A gallant 10 man Arsenal held off a withdrawn Liverpool at the Emirates last night in what turned out to be an action packed encounter from start to finish. It's a pity no-one grabbed the winner although according to Arsene Wenger, Liverpool were afraid to beat his team:

We had a few breaks when they could smell danger so, maybe, they decided to defend instead of attack and win the game...
at the end of the day, they have to be more disappointed because they came up against 10 men and did not win."

Like a cowboy with Tourrette's, Arsenal keep shooting themselves in the foot then cursing everyone but themselves. Already multiple times this season they've given away cheap goals and I'm not sure if Wenger's tactics are to blame or if it's their lack of experience in general but last night they were pushing far too high and relying on the speed of Gallas and Djourou to stop any breaks... well, we all know how that panned out for'em. Keane scored a ripper (yeah I know, I couldn't believe it either) and Gerrard could have easily put the Merseysiders ahead, but that's how it finished and after the restart, Adebayor went and got himself sent off... idiot! The Gunners did however step it up once reduced to 10 men and worked hard all over the park to take control of the match. As for Liverpool, I'm not sure what their excuse was really and to tell you the truth I don't really care either. They've got ambitions of winning the league but they don't have what it takes to do it. If they did they would have punished Arsenal last night and sent out a clear message to their rivals. Instead, what they've done is stood aside and given Chelsea and United the opportunity to get in ahead of them, which I hope happens. Watch this space.

Match highlights:

Sunday, 21 December 2008

Review - CWC - LDU de Quito 0 v 1 Manchester United

A clinical strike by Rooney gave United the win against LDU de Quito of Ecuador in the final of the FIFA Club World Cup
Manchester United have been crowned Club of the World with this win over LDU de Quito. They've also added another trophy to their stock pile of useless silverware, pocketed some cool cash and made it safe for me to assume these three things:
1. I know nothing about Ecuadorian football,
2. They can play just as good with 10 men as they can with 11 and
3. Edwin van der Sar is like a real life action figure with quick 'Karate Chop' hand actions. He pulled off 2 world class saves late in the match which ultimately kept United in the match.

I'm also quite impressed at how Liga kept United from running away with this match. I mean it didn't help that Park Ji-sung kept missing opportunities to put United ahead but hey the Ecuadorians stuck to their tasks and made life difficult for United. Initially I didn't give them a chance in hell, in fact I thought Tevez had more chance of being thrown in Godzilla's enclosure or appearing in a Japanese game show than Quito did of only losing by one goal... hey I guess stranger things have happened. Anyway, maybe now Fergie can invest some of the winnings from this campaign in to a Japanese gadget that'll give Tevez a haircut. Last I heard there was this laser machine that you stood under and told it the style you wanted, then vamoose, like a fart in a fan factory, the hair was gone! Well I can't remember if it was the hair or the head... either way Tevez will probably leave Old Trafford in January, so it doesn't really matter if he goes headless or hairless.
Congratulations Manchester United for conquering the World... next up, the Universe!

Match highlights:

Prediction - LDU de Quito v Manchester United

Manchester United prepare to be crowned club of the world against LDU de Quito
Eh... give United the crown already. LDU are the underdogs coming into this one and they’ll try, God knows they’ll try, I just think their efforts will be futile. I don’t need to go into it any more so than this. LDU unconvincingly beat Al Ahly 2-0, who Adelaide also beat 1-0. Gamba beat Adelaide 1-0 but were beaten convincingly by Manchester United 5-3. Subtract the 2, divide by 90 minutes... ah stuff it, maths was never my forte...

I predict:
LDU de Quito 0 v 3 Manchester United

Prediction - Arsenal v Liverpool

Arsenal v Liverpool... a crunch match in the making
Oooh... A crunch match in the making. Both teams have taken points off Chelsea and Man U and both are in desperate need of the points up for grabs today. Liverpool to stay ahead of the pack and Arsenal to keep within reach of it. A loss today for the Gunners would most likely mean an end to their Premiership title aspirations and with Villa breaking into the top four overnight, even their Champions League spot is in jeopardy. Liverpool's fighting spirit is going to be hard to break down even though goals have been hard to come by of late, but it'll no doubt be an entertaining match.
It could go either way but as usual, I'm gonna take a punt and say that Adebayor will put the Gunners ahead, Kuyt will equalize, Fabergas will put Arsenal ahead and in the dying minutes captain courageous Stevie G will pop up with the equalizer to gain a share of the spoils.

I predict:
Arsenal 2 v 2 Liverpool

Saturday, 20 December 2008

UEFA Champions League Last 16 Draw

The teams that'll be fighting it out for European supremacy in the next round of the UCL
At the moment I'm about as excited as fat chick in a doughnut shop. Why? cause I just read who'll be fighting it out for European supremacy in the next round of the UCL and the waitor at Sarbucks just bought over my slice of baked caramel cheese cake... Yesss!

Last 16 match-ups:
Chelsea v Juventus
Villareal v Panathinaikos
Sporting Lisbon v Bayern Munich
Athletico Madrid v FC Porto
Lyon v Barcelona
Real Madrid v Liverpool
Arsenal v Roma
Inter Milan v Manchester United
(Teams in bold are my suggestions as teams to progress)

You may look at my predictions above and think “this is madness!?”, but I assure you my friends, madness was kicked down a bottomless pit in Sparta along with everything else that was civil... this in fact is knockout football at its finest. I’m almost sure that I’ve made a few dud picks above but going off current form and the fact that this is not domestic football, I feel that they’re completely justifiable. Let me know if you disagree, I’d love to hear your babble.
Also, as I suggested once all group games had concluded, some teams may have shot themselves in the foot *laughs while pointing at Mourinho and Inter*. I’ll analyse all these as they get closer so in the mean time, just sit back, relax and enjoy the build up to the next round... there are some intriguing games ahead.

The draw:

Thursday, 18 December 2008

Review - CWC - Gamba Osaka 3 v 5 Manchester United

Ronaldo scores the second for United as they go on to romp Gamba 5-3
As expected, Manchester United made easy work of Gamba Osaka in an eight goal spectacle and while doing so progressed to the final of the Fifa Club World Cup to take on Liga Deportiva Universitaria Quito of Ecuador. This was truly an entertaining match with each team coming out to attack and entertain. The Asian Champions started strong and I'm actually a little amazed that they managed to score 2 well constructed goals and a very calmly finished penalty by Endo. I'm also quite relieved that Adelaide didn't make it to the semi's against the Red Devils. It would've been like a Pitt Bull on a Poodle, a blood bath I tell ya! Don't get me wrong, it would have been great for them and Australian football, but I can't help but ask myself, if United brushed aside Gamba the way they did, what would the score have been had Adelaide taken to the field against them? Anyone care to predict?
Full marks to Gamba for taking the match to United even though they came off second best.

Goal highlights:

Dubai Football Challenge - AC Milan v Hamburg SV

Kaka, Ronaldinho and Beckham celebrate for AC Milan
AC Milan are on their way to Dubai for their Emirates Winter Training Camp and will play against Hamburg SV in the Dubai Football Challenge. To add to the already star studded AC Milan lineup of Ronaldinho, Kaka, Maldini, Seedorf, Pato, Flamini... Milan chief executive Adriano Galliani also announced recently that a Mr. David Beckham, you know "that guy", would also be with the team:

He's coming on Saturday 20 (December), he'll do the medical examinations, the press conference and attend Milan versus Udinese (On December 21st)," the Milan chief added to La Gazzetta dello Sport.
"He'll have seven days' holiday then this adventure will start in Dubai."

Even though the opposition is rubbish, I for one will be front and centre for this event. Anyone interested in sharing a beer with me while we watch the spectacle can leave a comment on this post or get in touch via email: parttimepundit[at]gmail.com.
Get ticket info here or buy your tickets online at TimeOut Dubai... and tell’em I sent ya, if anything it'll get you a kick in the nads.

Details:
Date: January 6th, 2009
Start time: 7pm
Venue: The Sevens, Dubai

Review - CWC - Al Ahly 0 v 1 Adelaide United

It was some strike by Cristiano to bury Al Ahly
Cristiano's scored a world class strike and it was enough to secure Adelaide United fifth spot in the Club World Cup and pocket the team the $2.16m prizemoney up for grabs. When asked about it later, Cristiano said:

I had two chances and scored one goal which was good but the important thing is that we won the match"

Gue$$ where the party i$ tonight and who’$ picking up the tab!? Cha-ching!

Cristiano's goal:

Prediction - CWC - Gamba Osaka v Manchester United

Rooney fends of Enzo during their Club World Cup match
As the teams prepare for the much anticipated Champions of Asia v Champions of Europe match later today, Ryan Giggs has come out with this:

It has been the toughest competition to win.
Just to get to the final we first had to qualify for the Champions League, which is tough. Then you have got to win it, which is even more difficult...
It's a bigger competition now. In the past it was just Europe against South America but, now, every continent is involved.
It would be very special to be crowned champions of the world. Obviously, there are two games to play this time, so it's going to be even tougher.
But it would be great if we did win"

Blah, blah, blah... he later went on to say how everyone wishes they had this time as a rest period before being swamped by the dozen or so matches they'll be playing through the Christmas / New Year period. Yeah well last night I wished that for Christmas a Russian model would show up at my front door unannounced and talk dirty to me in a language that makes no sense whatsoever... instead the wrong Chinese takeout was delivered and when I questioned it I was abused in a language that makes no sense whatsoever. Looks like it's going to be a sad festive season for the both of us Giggsy... Deal with it!

I predict:
Gamba Osaka 0 v 2 Manchester United

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Commercial: Puma Kidnapping Anelka

A French temptress, a tied and gagged Anelka... all the right ingredients of a great viral campaign
In what has been a slow news week, I couldn't help but come across a viral campaign that Puma have recently released. All you need to know is that there is a smokin' hot French temptress in sexy knickers, knee high socks and pink stripper heels and that thug Anelka is gagged and tied up in the back. All the right ingredients of a successful campaign... even if you don't know what the boot is called or where to get it from. I'd say the only thing missing from it is video is the ice-pick poking out of Anelka's head so I'm going to hope the follow up has more to offer, well that or she gets naked and starts beating him up. It'll still be a win-win!

Anyone care to translate?

Sunday, 14 December 2008

Review - Aston Villa 4 v 2 Bolton

Gabriel Abonglahor gets his second of the night as Villa romp Bolton at Villa Park
Aston Villa jumped back into the top 4 with a more than convincing win against Bolton overnight but more importantly, their key players the likes of Barry, Abonglahor, Young and Laursen showed signs that they’ve started to hit top form… great signs for Martin O’Neils men leading into the Christmas period. I especially liked the link up play between Young and Abonglahor on several occasions, cause it made the Bolton defense look second rate, kinda like the time my local pub team played against that group of refugee orphans in a ‘for keeps’ Christmas presents match… hey man, say what you like but my 7 goals that game sooo deserved the flashy new bike and matching elbow pads. Screw you!

Match highlights:

Review - Tottenham 0 v 0 Manchester United

Tottenham and Manchester United played out an entertaining draw... but they forgot the goals
This was by far one of the most entertaining 0-0 draws I've watched in a really long time! It was fast paced, had end-to-end action with near misses by both teams but only thing it lacked was a little something called goals! Typical! Deep down I was hoping Berbatov would score one, just cause I love to watch that uncomfortable tension caused by a player who scores against his former club, but it wasn't to be this time round. Perhaps if these two meet in the finals of the Carling Cup, the scene will be set for Berba to pinch it again. Anyway, I'm sure Rooney was spewing that he had to sit this one out through suspension, cause if I was in his shoes, or anyone else's for that matter, I'd be sitting on the bench, itching to get out there. The atmosphere seemed electrifying, heck I was psyched just watching the highlights again, so I'm sure 'Arry and co were happy to walk away with a point and another clean sheet. It also meant that Tottenham have now taken 3 points from three of the top four teams so far this season. United however might rue this a lost opportunity to make up some much needed ground on table toppers Liverpool & Chelsea and now go to Japan for the Club World Cup and what is set to mark the beginning of their festive silly season. Tough weeks ahead for all!

Match highlights:

Prediction - CWC - Adelaide United v Gamba Osaka

Old friends fired up for reunion
I watched the match that Adelaide played against Waitakere United the other day and I felt it my duty to apologise to the poor people that had to sit through one of the most excruciating match I've ever seen... please don't mind the pins poking out of my eyes, I had to soften the pain of this match somehow. Never the less hear we are about to witness what could be another embarrassing drubbing of an Australian team by an foreign one in an well publicised tournament. I didn't want to predict the scores of this match but that would've just been un-Australian of me, kind'a like the football Adelaide played against Waitakere, so I'm reluctantly going to have a crack. The Reds are feeling confident about this rematch and have the welcomed boost of three key players returning to their squad (Sasa Ognenovski and Brazilians Cassio and Diego). Although as was the case a month ago, I don't think they'll get a sniff this time either and at best may score an early goal, only to be opened up throughout the match and torn to pieces by a quicker and better ball playing side. Hate me if you will... I'm just a realist baby!

I predict:
Adelaide United 1 v 3 Gamba Osaka

Review - El Clásico - Barcelona 2 v 0 Real Madrid

Samuel E'to scored the opener against Real Madrid although whether he even saw the ball cross the line is one I'll leave for the replays
Real Madrid coach Juande Ramos stayed calm and positive after his team's first loss in the league to inform Barcelona:

I am satisfied with the display of football put on by my team. They did what they had to do with pride and generosity and we came close to a better result. Barcelona capitalized and we didn't, so they got the three points."

Thankfully I'm not a coach, cause if I was, as soon as the match ended... no, scrap that, as soon as Royston Drenthe missed that one-on-one in the 24th minute and the opportunity to put Madrid ahead, I would have marched onto the field myself, dragged his ass to the bench and proceeded to whack him over the head with the nearest reserve player I could find... or just ordered Ruud van Nistelrooy to come down from the stands and head-butt him with his gigantic head. Either way, I would have been pissed and I'd be expecting blood. Had he scored that early goal against the run of play, the outcome of this match would have been different.
Anyway, Barca were deserved winners as they enjoyed more dominance on the field, but failed to capitalise. That was till a scrappy goal by Samuel E'to edged them in front. After missing a poorly struck / well saved penalty, the Cameroonian redeemed himself by givng Real a sucker punch to the nads and poucing on a Puyol header. Whether he even saw the ball cross the line is one I'll leave for the replays cause as soon as he kicked it he was running to the corner flag with his shirt off, pecks out and a trail of teammates getting ready to mob him. It was heart break for Madrid and especially Iker Casillas who worked tirelessly all night to keep Barca out and then in extra time, just to add the knockout blow, Messi made no mistake of flicking the ball over Casillas' shoulder, while precisely squeezing it past the oncoming Fabio Canavarro, who while trying to clear the ball also added the woodwork to his collection of 'Things that make you scream OUCH'. In all, it was a match that lived up to its reputation and delivered more than just the tagging of an 'El Clasico', it was entertainment.

Match highlights:

Friday, 12 December 2008

Prediction - El Clásico - Barcelona v Real Madrid

The old Camp Nou Stadium
Earlier this week I didn't even think Madrid were capable of beating a team of sissies, let alone Zenit or a finely tuned in form goal machine the likes of Barcelona. Today however, I'm a little baffled cause Real look like a whole different team, even after just one win. Anyway, whatevert the case may be, this match promises to deliver nothing less than an 'El Clásico' and I think it'll bring with it many goals too. Madrid however, need to focus on their defense and I think this is where Barca will edge them out. Ole!

I predict:
Barcelona 3 v 2 Madrid

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Champions League - Matchday 6 Review - Wednesday

Tevez finishing off a nicely crafted move, with his God-aweful hair and haidband
Man. United 2 v 2 AaB
When Tevez opened the scoring for United after just 3 minutes, I started stroking my ego cause I thought I'd picked another correct result with my predictions for this round. I stepped away from the telly for a half hour and couldn't believe my eyes when I returned to see United down 2-1 and then I caught glimpse of the highlights. How Tevez didn't have a hat-trick by half time is beyond me.
In the second half Rooney was getting frustrated because of a stubborn and resilient Aalborg defence, to the point where he lunged at the one of the players, studs up but didn't even get a warning for it. Meanwhile over at Parkhead where Celtic were busy scoring 2 against Villareal, Guille Franco was shown a red card for an “off-the-ball elbow on Gary Caldwell... elbow? Come on! I've watched the highlights over and over and if that's what's considered an elbow these days they Wayne Rooney's lunge should have had him trialled and hung!

Arsenal conceding their second of the night against Porto
Porto 2 v 0 Arsenal
An under strength Arsenal side conceded top spot in the group encounter with a very, very stinky performance, the likes of which can be found at the tip right next to washed up underwear and old toilets spares section. What it meant was that Arsenal have to now settle for second spot and may have shot themselves in the foot as they could face some stiff opposition next round. To Porto's credit, they played possession football and frustrated the makeshift Arsenal squad made up of up-and-coming youngsters (Ramsey, Vela), past-their-used-by-has-beens (Silvestre, Gallas) and a really-needs-more-work-striker (Bendtner)... no wonder they couldn't get their shit together! All night they struggled to put crisp passes together and were just off the mark, getting pushed around in the midfield too easily and giving the ball away when under slight pressure. Only time will tell if they've shot themselves in the foot by finishing second?

Real madrid looking a former image of themselves in a comfortable win against Zenit
Real Madrid 3 v 0 Zenit
A week ago... heck 3 days ago I was convinced that Real would struggle till at least the new year, but oh boy how all their Christmases have come at once. Juande ‘Should be called Santa Clause' Ramos stepped in to take over from Berndt ‘Ze Pool Cleaner‘ Schuster and his impact was immediate. Until this match, Madrid were playing without confidence, perhaps trying too hard even yet all Ramos did was make some minor tweaks in the 24 hours that he'd been in charge and he was able to achieve what he wasn't able to do for 8 matches in charge at Tottenham... a win. This football is a funny game I tells ya!

Wednesday results:
Man. United 2 v 2 AaB
Celtic 2 v 0 Villarreal
Steaua 0 v 1 Fiorentina
Lyon 2 v 3 Bayern
Porto 0 v 2 Arsenal
Dynamo Kyiv 1 v 0 Fenerbahçe
Juventus 0 v 0 BATE
Real Madrid 3 v 0 Zenit

Spotlight: Nike Mercurial Vapor IV - Lime

Lime Green Nike Mercurial Vapor IV as worn by Adriano, Aaron Hunt and Mesut Özil
Alright, we get it! Nike have discovered the Hue/Saturation button in Photoshop and now they’re pumping out colors quicker than you can actually guess what's gonna be next. These lime beauties were the latest ones doing the rotation during this weeks Champions League matches and they're not too shabby... well not as hideous as the berry/pink/rosa ones. I've looked the wide web over for releases or pics of these boots and heard nothin' nor seen nothin', so once again, this is an exclusive PTP post... yay me!
Some players donning these are:
Adriano (Internazionale)
Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Internazionale)
Frank Ribery (Bayern Munich)
Niclas Bendtner (Arsenal)
Mesut Özil (Werder Bremen)
Aaron Hunt (Werder Bremen)

Feel free to add to this list as you spot players wearing them and in the mean time feast your eyes on some of these suckers!
Accept no imitations, these are the very Limited Edition Nike Mercurial Vapor IV PTP Plum
Accept no imitations, these are the very Limited Edition Nike Mercurial Vapor IV PTP Plum

Nike Mercurial Vapor IV Lime Wallpapers:
1024x768
1280x1024
1680x1050

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Champions League - Matchday 6 Review - Tuesday

Albert Riera unleashed a strike that would make any barnyard animal squeal
PSV 1 v 3 Liverpool
Liverpool heaped more misery on poor 'ol PSV with a 3-1 thrashing in Eindhoven. The Boeren (Farmers) were playing with the hope of making it to the Uefa Cup and after a shaky opening half hour they managed to sneak their way in front with a Danko Lazovic goal... that's when the cow shit started to role downhill. Ryan Babel nabbed an equaliser in the dying minutes of the first half and then midway through the second, Albert Riera unleashed a strike that would make any barnyard animal squeal. N'Gog, added insult to injury late on and ended what was an embarrassing UCL campaign for Dutch side. On a positive though, as soon as the match ended, PSV manager Huub Stevens planted magic beans in preparation for next season's UCL attempt (given they make it of course). You know, cause they might just have more luck if they stink everyone to death by farting. Ah Huub, you've always been an ideas man.

Marseille 0 v 0 Atlético Madrid
Meanwhile further south, Marseille and Atlético played out a drab scoreless draw in France. I watched part of this match and it lacked something, it just didn't seem to have much life. Oh that's right, it's cause the Spaniards were fearing for it! Their plane into France had been delayed and they only got to the stadium a couple hours before kickoff. They'd received death threats by the Marseille Ultras cause of the crowd violence that erupted last time these two met which resulted in one of their members being jailed for 3 years. So Madrid, a little reluctant to fly in earlier, good call, went there to see out this match and get the heck out. Man, if I were calling the shots down at Madrid, I would have made two phone calls...scrap that three. The first to Benitez to say put out a half descent squad to quash PSV (it happened anyway), the second would have been to Uefa to say, thanks but no-thanks, we're not playing this match and the third call would have been to my travel agent booking me a flight for the week to somewhere warm, aka anywhere closer to the Equator... problems solved!

Pep Guardiola put out a young and inexperienced side so as to give them some much fancied UCL experience
Barcelona 2 v 3 Shakhtar
Dead rubbers are always hard to call, especially when one of the teams has a derby match coming up on the weekend. So to compensate, Pep Guardiola put out a young and inexperienced side so as to give them some much fancied UCL experience... steady... cue the backfire... and POW! I'm not quite sure this worked in his favour, although it didn't really matter. Barca had top spot sealed and Shakhtar that all illusive Uefa Cup spot and I don't think anyone really cares about the Basel 0 v 1 Sporting match... next!

Panathinaikos' rise to the top after being bottom only 3 matches ago was a suprise
Panathinaikos 1 v 0 Anorthosis
The biggest surprise of the group so far was Pana's rise to the top after being bottom only 3 matches ago. They began this campaign awfully, managing only 1 point from their first three matches. I expected them to beat Anorthosis, only just and with Inter failing again, who would have thought they'd make it to the drivers seat and lead the group through to the next round!? I'm also amazed at how well Anorthosis played this campaign and they can walk away knowing that had they been in any other group with 6 points to their name, they'd be well and truly playing in the next round of the Uefa Cup... ooh, so close!

Bremen 2 v 1 Internazionale
As far as I'm concerned, the shmucks over at Inter took their foot off the gas a little while ago. A 3-3 draw against Anorthosis, a 1-0 loss to Pana and now a 2-1 loss Werder... suddenly the 'Special One' isn't so special anymore. Granted, they'd qualified with that draw against the Cypriots, but to finish second now puts them in a difficult situation. Not only will the return leg of the next round be away, but they're likely to come up against some very stiff opposition in the likes of Barcelona, Liverpool and Manchester Unitd... Hooah!

Drogba's celebration was reduced to a mere finger wave and then a press on his lips as if to silence the crowd
Chelsea 2 v 1 CFR Cluj
So Chelsea decided to do it tough and had to wait till Didier Drogba was subbed on and score, before they could walk away with their heads high. I don't know about you, but I reckon the Droog is packing some extra kilos under his jersey, well that and he doesn't look too happy to be there anymore. Sure injury and a drop in form would do that to ya, but I reckon there's more to it. I think he's looking forward to the open transfer market in January. I mean, even his goal celebration was tame! If Drogba had scored the winning goal in a UCL match this time last year, he would have run as fast as he could, arms pumping to the corner flag and followed it with a knee slide and some African dancing or something. Last night his celebration was reduced to a mere finger wave and then a press on his lips as if to silence the crowd... you were playing at home you Ivorian ning-nong! (?? I don't know, it just sounds cool). Once again, watch this space.

Roma 2 v 0 Bordeaux
Much like Panathinaikos, the Italians came good after a terrible start to this campaign. They were guaranteed a spot in the next round, but top spot is what everyone wants and after much hard work they turned things around and got it. Totti was at his inspirational best again and capped off the night with a nice strike from just inside the box, but apart from that, there's not much else to say hear really. Bordeaux were never going to make the next round so they should be happy with the Uefa Cup spot.

Tuesday results:
Chelsea 2 v 1 CFR Cluj
Roma 2 v 0 Bordeaux
Panathinaikos 1 v 0 Anorthosis
Bremen 2 v 1 Internazionale
Basel 0 v 1 Sporting
Barcelona 2 v 2 Shakhtar
PSV 1 v 3 Liverpool
Marseille 0 v 0 Atlético

Update: Nike Mercurial Vapor Rosa

A cartoon recreation of the Pink Panther used to advertise the Mercurial Vapor Rosa
I'm a big fan of animation, massive even... I love crafty commercials and I live, breath and eat football... so this latest campaign by the clever minds over at Nike appeals to me on so many levels. What throws me off a little is their need for fancy coloured boots, as I laid claim here well over a year ago. I still can't bring myself to liking the colour of these monstrosities, no matter how limited it actually is and I'm assuming the discussions for this campaign took place while everyone sat around and thought, "How can we make such a puncy colour more... manly?" Well it was easy I guess, the colour needed to connect with a younger, male dominated market and nostalgia was a good start. Feeling cool, clever and carrying mystique was another way and thus the Pink Panther was adopted to push this forward. Whatever, I still wouldn't wear them, nor would I wear any of the other colours they come in, but that's just the traditionalist in me coming out.

Animation: Nike Mercurial Vapor Rosa:


They also did a re-enactment of the intro with both animated and real footage and I've added it below. Yeah I think the idea was clever, but I probably would have gone down a different path like exploring pink bits or the pink Care Bare, just to really drum it in that if you wear these you should be shot at. I mean no offense to any players being paid to wear, them especially Frank Ribery cause he's a good player... but Materazzi, you know for all his hard ass antics, he really does look like the biggest punce in'em.

Pink Panther intro remake:


Mercurial Vapor older news:
Coming soon: Mercurial Vapor IV Berry
Homage: Mercurial Vapor IV Green
Spotlight: Nike Mercurial SL

Champions League - Matchday 6 Predictions - Wednesday

The Fiorentina players warm-up in a training session as they prepare to take on Steaua Bucuresti
All the teams to qualify for the next phase have been decided from Groups E to H, so it's just a matter of who finishes first / second... oh and then there's the Uefa Cup spots up for grabs too. But no-one "really" cares for this competition cause it's like the Champions League's fatter, uglier and unappreciated sister... you know, the one I wouldn't touch even with your dick!

Wednesday matches:
Man. United 4 v 0 AaB
Celtic 2 v 2 Villarreal
Steaua 1 v 2 Fiorentina
Lyon 2 v 2 Bayern
Porto 1 v 1 Arsenal
Dynamo Kyiv 1 v 1 Fenerbahçe
Juventus 2 v 0 BATE
Real Madrid 1 v 2 Zenit

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Schuster Out, Ramos In!... What The!?

I heard Bernd Shuster has already picked up a small cameo role in a B-grade adult film aptly named Over the Twat... Boom chicka wah wah!
C'mon, as if you didn't see this one coming!? The writing was on the wall after Real's loss to at the weekend to Sevilla... oh and of course when he said this in the pre-match press conference:

The game against Barcelona worries me less than any other game. It is not possible to win because Barcelona are in devastating form and I believe that this is going to be their year," Schuster said.

I must say that the timing of this move was impeccable. Not only do Madrid have to prepare for a Champions League survival match against Zenit tomorrow, but they'll now have to adjust to their new coach, who only weeks ago was having trouble getting Tottenham to win a match... Oh the minds down at Los Merengues... just brilliant! The way things are being run down there, I'll be surprised if Ramos makes it to Christmas!?
On a brighter note though, I heard Bernd Shuster has already picked up a small cameo role in a B-grade adult film aptly named Over the Twat... Boom chicka wah wah!

Monday, 8 December 2008

Champions League - Matchday 6 Predictions - Tuesday

Shakhtar prepare for an onslaught at the Nou Camp by Barcelona
So we are down to the business end of the UCL group stage which is always an exciting time! At the moment only 3 teams from Groups A to D have progressed to the next stage and after tomorrow's matches, a further 5 teams would have too.
The only way this could get more interesting is if UEFA threatened the team that finishes last with death... let the slaughter BEGIN! Mwahahaha!

Tuesday matches:
Chelsea 2 v 0 CFR Cluj
Roma 1 v 0 Bordeaux
Panathinaikos 2 v 1 Anorthosis
Bremen 2 v 2 Internazionale
Basel 1 v 3 Sporting
Barcelona 4 v 2 Shakhtar
PSV 1 v 2 Liverpool
Marseille 1 v 1 Atlético

Review - Bolton 0 v 2 Chelsea

Deco scoring a bicycle kick against Bolton... can you see the goal thief Anelka resisting to get a foot to it and claim it as his!?
I like spectacular goals, especially by spectacular players, but we just don't see them enough these days... so take heed all you supertars! Sure there are long range efforts that rattle cross bars and wrong foot goal keepers... but acrobatics in football is a dying art form and you just don't see it enough these days... cue Deco's bicycle kick from outside the box and KAPOW, this was one of the best goals of the season so far. Ok, so it wasn't at the death and it wasn't from an acute angle, but it just looked sweet and the technique was great... simple as that! Oh and could you see the goal thief Anelka resisting to get a foot to it... you just know he wanted to touch it, to claim it as his! Luckily, the psych nurses were on hand with a straight jacket and were able to restrict his movement so that it would count as Deco's instead.

Match highlights:
Sorry, I had to resort to some Spanish site for highlights... No soy el dueño de este burro, lo rente!

Review - Everton 2 v 3 Aston Villa

Joleon 'The Forehead' Lescott nabbed an acrobatic 93rd minute equalizer but it wasn't enough to see off Villa
Villa was lucky to escape Goodison Park with all three points last night, especially when Ashley Young was gifted the second goal... and then bagged the third deep, deep, deeeeeep into injury time...

I don't know how much added time the referee played, I haven't checked it yet but it certainly seemed like a long time from when we scored the goal," David Moyes to Sky Sports.

At best Villa should have come away with a point and it was all set to be going that way when Joleon Lescott nabbed an acrobatic 93rd minute equalizer but Everton must have gone straight for the celebratory beers once they scored cause they forgot to defend for the remaining minutes of the match. I don't understand what all the bickering is about, I mean c'mon guys, we all know a standard league football match can go for 100 minutes or more. It's like running a good race in the sack with a hot broad, you've done the 90 (sec) and going for 100 and then think of your grandma or Lescott's forehead and well game over, there's no recovering from that, just drop your head and do the walk of shame.

Match highlights:

Thursday, 4 December 2008

Review - Manchester United 5 v 3 Blackburn Rovers

Tevez ran riot against Blackburn, reckon he'll make the starting lineup on the weekend?
Desperate to impress his manager and regain a starting position in the first eleven, Carlos Tevez stole the show at Old Trafford last night and if it hadn’t been for the woodwork midway through the second half, he may have had his fifth of the match. Like a Godzilla stumbling through the streets of Japan, Tevez with scaly skin and all, ran rampage among the Blackburn backlines. Some great link up play between himself, Anderson and Giggs, tore the Rovers apart and set up Tevez for what would be a memorable night and his first hat-trick + 1 in England. Good for you Carlos! United progress to the semi’s where they’ll probably meet Burnley... and lose. Rawwwr!

Match highlights:

Review - Burnley 2 v 0 Arsenal

Arsenal knocked out of the Carling Cup by Burnley
The Wenger Boys dream run came to a premature end when they were shot down by giant killers Burnley... boys, premature, shot down... I ain’t even gonna bother with this one, watch the match highlights instead... gross!

Match highlights:
Note: Ignore the Ferg and Ince interviews at the start

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Review - Manchester City 0 v 1 Manchester United


Ignore the delay in this post, I was waiting for the hog wash to settle and for the real reason to come out as to why Ronaldo did what Heurelho Gomes can't do; punch the ball away in the box, mid flight... so without further adu:

Rooney took the corner, I jumped and that was when I heard a shout from Richards and simultaneously the sound of a whistle," Ronaldo told The Sun.
"I was convinced that the ref had blown for a foul. I stopped trying to head the ball and score a goal. I grabbed the ball so Richards could get help.
"It never entered my mind that the referee would show me another yellow card because, for me, I hadn't done anything wrong.
"To the contrary, after Richards yelled I thought he was hurt and needed assistance."
And of course Sir Ferg had an opinion on the matter:
"I've watched it again and he's trying to protect the ball hitting his face," explained Sir Alex on MUTV.
"He also thought he heard the whistle.
"It's not as if he's thrown a hand at the ball to deflect it away or punch it towards goal, it simply hit his hands.
"If it had been outside the box, the referee would just have given a free-kick, nothing else. The crowd played their part of course and he got sent off."

'Lying Through Your Teeth' must be a lesson taught in the classrooms of Old Trafford, right after 'Advanced Diving Techniques' and 'Making Excuses 101'. I just wonder when someone is just going to stick their hand up and say you know what, Ballon d'Or winner or not, he simply fucked up. But I guess it's easier to make up excuses than to look like a jack ass! Oh wait a minute, that's exactly what's happened and both Ronaldo and Ferguson have confirmed that. You wanna impress me... cop it in the face Ronaldo! Fabio, the most beautiful man in the cosmos did... by of all things a goose! And for that, I'll forever hold him on a pedestal. So much for you Ronaldo!

Match highlights:

Monday, 1 December 2008

Review - Chelsea 1 v 2 Arsenal

Like a hero amongst the crowd, Robin van Persie rose to deliver two killer blows to bitter rivals Chelsea
Holy shit! I predicted Arsenal beating Chelsea at Stamford Bridge and it actually happened!? And by the exact score line too! Man, that's crazy town! Ok, ok, so the scorers I blurted out were all messed up, but I did however claim that a hero would stand out amongst the crowd; and like clockwork that hero materialized in the form of one Robin van Persie. His two goals in 2 minutes were enough to give the Gunners the win and put Chelsea's title challenge on hold... momentarily. It also put the Gunners back into that elusive 4th Champions League spot after Villa failed to capitalise against Fulham on Saturday night. There was however, more to this match than just heroics... if you ask me, there were dark forces at play... forget the God awful calls by the linesmen on Chelsea's strikers all night or even the two yard off side RvP goal, I think the real villain of this match, or more a thorn in Chelsea's side, was the ever so slow and ever bulging Branislav Ivanovic. He could barely keep up with the speed of the match and you know alarm bells must have been ringing... shiiiit, even Japan sounded their tsunami warning sirens every time he made a run. Even Adebayor looked "nimble" around this lard ass and if that's not as serious as a heart attack, I don't know what is! Big Phill and his killer English accent need to do the team a favour and get rid of this chop before he costs them more points and possibly a stadium collapse.

Match highlights: