PSV 1 v 3 Liverpool
Liverpool heaped more misery on poor 'ol PSV with a 3-1 thrashing in Eindhoven. The Boeren (Farmers) were playing with the hope of making it to the Uefa Cup and after a shaky opening half hour they managed to sneak their way in front with a Danko Lazovic goal... that's when the cow shit started to role downhill. Ryan Babel nabbed an equaliser in the dying minutes of the first half and then midway through the second, Albert Riera unleashed a strike that would make any barnyard animal squeal. N'Gog, added insult to injury late on and ended what was an embarrassing UCL campaign for Dutch side. On a positive though, as soon as the match ended, PSV manager Huub Stevens planted magic beans in preparation for next season's UCL attempt (given they make it of course). You know, cause they might just have more luck if they stink everyone to death by farting. Ah Huub, you've always been an ideas man.
Marseille 0 v 0 Atlético Madrid
Meanwhile further south, Marseille and Atlético played out a drab scoreless draw in France. I watched part of this match and it lacked something, it just didn't seem to have much life. Oh that's right, it's cause the Spaniards were fearing for it! Their plane into France had been delayed and they only got to the stadium a couple hours before kickoff. They'd received death threats by the Marseille Ultras cause of the crowd violence that erupted last time these two met which resulted in one of their members being jailed for 3 years. So Madrid, a little reluctant to fly in earlier, good call, went there to see out this match and get the heck out. Man, if I were calling the shots down at Madrid, I would have made two phone calls...scrap that three. The first to Benitez to say put out a half descent squad to quash PSV (it happened anyway), the second would have been to Uefa to say, thanks but no-thanks, we're not playing this match and the third call would have been to my travel agent booking me a flight for the week to somewhere warm, aka anywhere closer to the Equator... problems solved!
Barcelona 2 v 3 Shakhtar
Dead rubbers are always hard to call, especially when one of the teams has a derby match coming up on the weekend. So to compensate, Pep Guardiola put out a young and inexperienced side so as to give them some much fancied UCL experience... steady... cue the backfire... and POW! I'm not quite sure this worked in his favour, although it didn't really matter. Barca had top spot sealed and Shakhtar that all illusive Uefa Cup spot and I don't think anyone really cares about the Basel 0 v 1 Sporting match... next!
Panathinaikos 1 v 0 Anorthosis
The biggest surprise of the group so far was Pana's rise to the top after being bottom only 3 matches ago. They began this campaign awfully, managing only 1 point from their first three matches. I expected them to beat Anorthosis, only just and with Inter failing again, who would have thought they'd make it to the drivers seat and lead the group through to the next round!? I'm also amazed at how well Anorthosis played this campaign and they can walk away knowing that had they been in any other group with 6 points to their name, they'd be well and truly playing in the next round of the Uefa Cup... ooh, so close!
Bremen 2 v 1 Internazionale
As far as I'm concerned, the shmucks over at Inter took their foot off the gas a little while ago. A 3-3 draw against Anorthosis, a 1-0 loss to Pana and now a 2-1 loss Werder... suddenly the 'Special One' isn't so special anymore. Granted, they'd qualified with that draw against the Cypriots, but to finish second now puts them in a difficult situation. Not only will the return leg of the next round be away, but they're likely to come up against some very stiff opposition in the likes of Barcelona, Liverpool and Manchester Unitd... Hooah!
Chelsea 2 v 1 CFR Cluj
So Chelsea decided to do it tough and had to wait till Didier Drogba was subbed on and score, before they could walk away with their heads high. I don't know about you, but I reckon the Droog is packing some extra kilos under his jersey, well that and he doesn't look too happy to be there anymore. Sure injury and a drop in form would do that to ya, but I reckon there's more to it. I think he's looking forward to the open transfer market in January. I mean, even his goal celebration was tame! If Drogba had scored the winning goal in a UCL match this time last year, he would have run as fast as he could, arms pumping to the corner flag and followed it with a knee slide and some African dancing or something. Last night his celebration was reduced to a mere finger wave and then a press on his lips as if to silence the crowd... you were playing at home you Ivorian ning-nong! (?? I don't know, it just sounds cool). Once again, watch this space.
Roma 2 v 0 Bordeaux
Much like Panathinaikos, the Italians came good after a terrible start to this campaign. They were guaranteed a spot in the next round, but top spot is what everyone wants and after much hard work they turned things around and got it. Totti was at his inspirational best again and capped off the night with a nice strike from just inside the box, but apart from that, there's not much else to say hear really. Bordeaux were never going to make the next round so they should be happy with the Uefa Cup spot.
Tuesday results:
Chelsea 2 v 1 CFR Cluj
Roma 2 v 0 Bordeaux
Panathinaikos 1 v 0 Anorthosis
Bremen 2 v 1 Internazionale
Basel 0 v 1 Sporting
Barcelona 2 v 2 Shakhtar
PSV 1 v 3 Liverpool
Marseille 0 v 0 Atlético