Prediction - A-League Grand Final - Melbroune v Adelaide

Sugar coat it any way you like, it's still not going to make Adelaide United play any better or bring a trophy to South Australia... 5 games this season alone have proven that! Unfortunately I won’t be watching this match (I know, tell me about it!)... instead, I've got a dirty weekend* planned in a remote corner of some dessert... but believe you me, I'll be reporting on the match as soon as I get back to civilization!

... and my report will read:
Melbourne Victory 3 v 1 Adelaide United
Scorers: Danny Allsopp, Cristiano, Archie Thompson and Carlos Hernandez

*By dirty weekend I mean, digging around in sand pits and gettin' reall messy ;)
Anyway, go Melbourne!

Older Melbourne Victory news:
Review - A-League Finals - Melbourne 4 v 0 Adelaide
Prediction - A-League Finals - Melbourne v Adelaide
Review - A-League Finals - Adelaide 0 v 2 Melbourne

Predictions - La Liga - 28th / 1st March

After some impressive midweek UCL predictions, I fancied my chances of picking this weeks La Liga results too; so I gave our resident La Liga experts Head or Tails a rest from their prediction duties... and had a crack myself.
Warning: Back me at your own risk!

I predict:
Espanyol 1 v 2 Real Madrid
Athletic Bilbao 1 v 2 Sevilla
Valencia 2 v 2 Real Valladolid
Sporting Gijón 0 v 1 Mallorca
Málaga CF v Recreativo Huelva
Almería 3 v 1 Getafe
Racing Santander 1 v 0 Osasuna
Real Betis 2 v 1 Villarreal
Atlético Madrid 1 v 2 FC Barcelona
Numancia 0 v 0 Deportivo La Coruña

Predictions - Barclays Premier League - 28th / 1st March

Oh man! We're back to domestic duties already!? Give me the flamboyance of European action any day.

I predict:
Everton 2 v 0 West Brom
Arsenal 1 v 0 Fulham
Chelsea 2 v 0 Wigan
Middlesbrough 0 v 2 Liverpool
Hull City 1 v 1 Blackburn
West Ham 1 v 1 Man City
Bolton 2 v 1 Newcastle
Aston Villa 3 v 0 Stoke City

Cracking goal, dubious penatly - Villarreal 1 v 1 Panathinaikos

I am still speechless... It's not often you see a half volley struck with such quality from a distance... oh wait a minute, we're talking about Karagounis... sorry, yes you do! Watch this!
Panathinaikos, with Henk Ten Cate at the helm, is my dark horse for this tournament... forget the quarter finals, look out semi's!

Goal highlights:

Game over! - Sporting 0 v 5 Bayern Munich

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine you're playing PES '09 against your kid sister. She's bad, I mean really bad and can't string two passes together, let alone an attack on goal. She also happens to be playing with controller 1 and by default is the home team, but that doesn't faze you cause you like the jeering and lack of crowd support for your team. You are in your element and she is wishing she'd just stuck to playing pretend tea parties with her friends... ok now open your eyes and quickly look at the scores of this match! Do you see any similarities!?
Seriously, if I were Bayern I would't show up for the next match... what's the worst that could happen?... you lose the match 3-0! Eh, see you in the quarters!

Match highlights:

'Pool take vital lead to Anfield - Real Madrid 0 v 1 Liverpool

Truthfully, I didn't see this one coming. I mean Liverpool have been very inconsistent of late and well Madrid have scored 10 goals in their last two domestic matches, so I was almost expecting Los Merengues to come away with more than just a slap in the face. But I guess they can thank Yossi Benayoun for that.
It's going to be a tough ask for Ramos's Spaniards to pull a result over Rafas "Spaniards" in two weeks time, mainly cause the Reds don't really lose at Anfield all too often... however, I'm sure that amongst all that hand gestures and Spanglish being thrown around someone will conjure up something foreign and we'll get another entertaining match out of it. Till then I guess, one can only ponder some of the substitution decisions Rafa made throughout the match, like taking off Torres for Babel and saving Gerrard for the last few minutes... maybe he really is losing his marbles!?

Match highlights:

Drogba downs Juve - Chelsea 1 v 0 Juventus

Ah Didier... I've questioned your abilities many times on this site (namely here, here and here) and last night I thought you'd actually made me eat my words when you scored the winner... touché old friend, but don't get carried away cause there's still much work to be done if you and your team are to advance... mainly between you and that thief who calls himself Anelka.
While watching the two of you plonk around last night, I kind'a got the feeling that tensions were running hot... not once did you pass to each other and your runs were more often than not into each other's space... hmm, I'm just gonna put this one out there, but I think Big Phil Scolari may have been right in his choice to play a lone striker system, and maybe the two of you are only playing together now cause the powers above have spoken? I didn't think Guus was "into" pressure from upstairs... but maybe I'm wrong, I was about your goal scoring abilities last night.

Match highlights:


Running tally:
So far the English have done it easy over the Iti's, dominating general play and possession, but hold your hats peeps cause two of the next three matches are still to be played in Iti land... and shit can always goes pear shaped there!

Allegiance	Pld	F	A	Pts
England	3	2	0	7
Italy	3	0	2	1

Lisandro keeps Atlético at bay - Atlético 2 v 2 Porto

Calamitous defending, dreadful goalkeeping, wasteful attacks and a ruled out (off side?) goal... and that was all in the first half!
Yep, Atletico are looking as disjointed as ever and have a lot of work to get through to the next phase. Porto on the other hand, only have to show up to the match and as long as they park the team bus in front of their goals, it'll be enough to get them through.

Match highlights:

Thierry spares Barca blushes - Lyon 1 v 1 Barcelona

To be frank, Lyon should have won this battle, instead, they now have to go to the Camp Nou in a fortnights time and have to put in a very special performance to even have a chance of making it through to the next phase... oh, and just so you understand how special a performance it'll have to be, imagine the complexities behind cumming a Skittles rainbow... yep, it's going to have to be that special!

Match highlights:

1 foot in the door? - Arsenal 1 v 0 Roma

They scored 1, but how on earth was it not 5 or 6... or 20 even!?
Arsenal completely dominated this match as Roma held on for the ride, so it's a pity the Gunners couldn't walk away from it with more to show for their efforts. Abu Diaby's poise and strength was a welcome return for the home team as he controlled the midfield and supplied much of the balls forward, however once again, Nicklas "The goal waster" Bendtner disappointingly missed a handful of chances that would have put the Gunners in a more favourable position for the return leg in two weeks time... oh and don't even get me started on Eboue's miss from the 6-yard box! Hideous!

match highlights:


Running tally:

Allegiance	Pld	F	A	Pts
England	2	1	0	4
Italy	2	0	1	1

Advantage Inter? Hardly! Inter 0 v 0 Manchester United

Were there two teams playing in this match?... I'm pretty sure that till the second half Inter didn't really touch the ball. In fact it actually looked more like a training run for United and especially Ronaldo who had half a dozen chances in the first 30min alone.
As it stands, the score probably favours Inter, cause a scored draw in a fortnights time at Old Trafford will put them through... but I don't see that happening. If they're to even get a sniff, at the very least they'll need to string two passes together and maybe even cut Ibrahimovic's fugly long locks... but again, I don't see that happening.

Match highlights:


Running tally:

Allegiance	Pld	F	A	Pts
England	1	0	0	1
Italy	1	0	0	1

Champions League - First Knockout Round Predictions - Wednesday

The war of words begun long ago with players and coaches alike laying claim that they will all be progressing to the next stages of the UCL.
Fernando Torres: Real Madrid will find Liverpool hard to beat.
Guss Hiddink tells Chelsea: No more excuses.
Jurgen Klinsmann: Confident in Luca Toni.

I predict:
Chelsea 1 v 0 Juventus
Real Madrid 2 v 1 Liverpool
Sporting 2 v 2 Bayern
Villareal 1 v 1 Panathinaikos

Part-time Pundit

Yes that right chumps... the Droog and CRon were wearing unmarked versions of the Nike Mercurial Superfly's in training earlier this year and Daniel Alavez even wore them in a match against Villareal, but I've been a little reluctant to write about them, mainly for the fact that now I truly believe Nike are taking the piss.
Ok, so they've created another featherweight boot... great! But they did that with the Vapor IV SL too.
They've slapped stitching all over the place for supprt... but what ever happened to a seamless surface? I understand that this concept relies on stitching and that the concept is loosely based on the use of tension strings on suspension bridges or some shit like that... but I don't really care, I want seamless dammit!
And to top off the nonsense, they'll be available in 3 colourways, Black/Yellow, Orange/ Abyss/Silver and White/Silver/Red... only God knows how many more will follow!? I'm taking bet's if anyone's interested.

Don't get me wrong, these boot will probably be a huge success with the likes of Ibrahimovic, Ribery, Robinho, and Pato to be amongst the names wearing them... it's just that I'm a man of taste and some tradition and that's why I'd take the Vapor IV SL's over these any day of the week! Care to change my mind? Feel free to send me a pair for "sampling". They can be directed to the "PTP wouldn't wear these if he had your feet" department.

The making of the new Flywire technology - Part 1


Get Part 2 here.

Anyway, after some digging and prodding... and even some arm twisting, over the course of the next month or so, I'll be sharing a bunch of things I've found out about this boot to coincide with the launch date on April 1st.

Want to be the first in the know... sign up to the PTP newsletter and get all the Nike Mercurial Superfly updates and views.

 

In the mean time... here's a poster/wallpaper you might enjoy:
I sure as hell enjoyed making it!


Older Nike Mercurial news:
Nike Mercurial Vapor IV - Charcoal/Orange/Silver
Spotlight: Nike Mercurial Vapor IV - Lime
Update: Nike Mercurial Vapor Rosa
Coming soon: Mercurial Vapor IV Berry
Homage: Mercurial Vapor IV Green

Champions League - First Knockout Round Predictions - Tuesday

Finally, FINALLY! The UEFA Champions League is back and as always I'd made some bold claims when the knockout draw was first announced. Looking back, there is probably only one set of matches I'll revoke from those claims as I think Chelsea, with Guus at the helm, will just get by Juve... when Scolari was in charge they really didn't have a chance.

Tuesday matches:
Atlético 2 v 0 Porto
Lyon 1 v 2 Barcelona
Arsenal 1 v 0 Roma
Internazionale 1 v 1 Man. United

Results - Barclays Premier League - 21st / 23rd February

It's clear that I overrated some teams chances of winning this weekend... especially those the likes of Arsenal and Liverpool, who week in and week out continue to disappoint. At the other end of the ladder, Bolton have started to make a charge for the top ten, as have Sunderland and Tottenham... the latter managing a last ditch win at the KC Stadium against Hull last night. Speaking of which, does anyone know if Spurs keepers have been jinxed since Robinson left / or Gomes came... they just can't seem to catch crosses anymore! [Goal highlights below]

Gameweek score:
4 out of 10

Results:
Aston Villa 0 v 1 Chelsea
Arsenal 0 v 0 Sunderland
Bolton 2 v 1 West Ham
Middlesbrough 0 v 0 Wigan
Stoke City 2 v 2 Portsmouth
Man Utd 2 v 1 Blackburn
Fulham 2 v 0 West Brom
Liverpool 1 v 1 Man City
Newcastle 0 v 0 Everton
Hull City 1 v 2 Tottenham

Goal highlights - Hull 1 v 2 Tottenham


Older Tottenham news:
Review - Tottenham 0 v 0 Arsenal
Keano, A Yid Once Again...
Review - Bolton 3 v 2 Tottenham
Review - FA Cup - Manchester United 2 v 1 Tottenham

Typical! Liverpool 1 v 1 Manchester City

How many times are we going to see Liverpool squander their opportunities to keep up with Manchester United? I reckon they really should start kissing their title chances goodbye. As for their UCL chances... well I can hear Juande Ramos already rubbing his hands together and licking his lips at the propsect of progress... maybe next year 'Pool.

Match highlights:

Turn it up! Real Madrid 6 v 1 Real Betis

Ole! I was pleasantly surprised by Madrid's attacking nous and their ferociousness in front of goal this weekend... but I think what excited me the most was the fact that they're up against Liverpool this week in the UCL and well Liverpool aren't quite the pitcher of health these days. Anyway back to the match... man, If I were a Betis player, I would have quickly taken my jersey off and swapped it with that of a child sitting in the stands... I'm sure they would have at least conceded less goals and kept their dignity too!

Goal highlights:

Hate to say I told you so - Aston Villa 0 v 1 Chelsea

Getting a win at Villa Park is an acheivement in itself, so I think it's kind'a funny that 'Aussie Guus' was able to do it on his first attempt. Once they took the lead, Chelsea seemed to lock up tighter than a nun's nasties and ride out what would be an average match and win. Speaking of average, did you see Drogba again? He still looks light years away from the form that had him banging in 33 goals a couple seasons back maybe for his birthday in a few weeks I should lend him my time machine and set it to 2006-07... at the very least he'll be able to rekindle his love affair with Jose Mourinho!

Match highlights:

Holy shit! Barcelona 1 v 2 Espanyol

I didn't see this one coming and neither did our friends over at Heads or Tails... And they're mad Espanyol fans! Heck to tell you the truth, I don't think anyone saw this one coming! We haven't been able to contact the guy since this win, but that makes sense... I'm sure the party is still banging somewhere in Catalonia and they're living la vida loca!... my apologies if you now have that hideous song stuck in your head for days... welcome to the torture of my world. Mwahahaha!

Match highlights:

Two easy! - Manchester United 2 v 1 Blackburn Rovers

Let's put Ronaldo's cracking goal aside for the moment, I'm going to question how Man U can get away with blue murder more often than any other team in the league... now I don't want to sound all Rafa Benitezesque, but it seems to happen time and time again and they're constantly getting away with palpable penalty decisions. Ok we get that they have a scary 'ol manager who secretly transforms into a ware wolf at nights and preys on fallen managers in his quest of infinite football wisdom whilst forming one of the most revered in Europe... I just want to know if it will ever end and how to kill it!? Is that too much to ask?

Match highlights:

Man utd V Blackburn
by Gretna2008

Adelaide make the A-League final! WTF!? Adelaide United 1 v 0 Queensland Roar

I have to admit, I'm bloody surprised that Adelaide were able to pull this result out of their arses, especially after the week they just had... and especially cause Fabian Barbiero drilled home the winner. Queensland Roar were clearly the better team on the night dominating play, possession and oportunities but failed miserbly every time to convert... *cough* Mitch Nichols *cough*. So Queensland have to wait till next year for another crack at an A-League title and ACL football... maybe Adelaide will have more luck instead... *cough* but I highly doubt it! *cough*. Damn, this sore throught!

Match highlights:

Prediction - A-League Finals - Adelaide v Queensland

Adelaide United will want to put the last fortnight behind them, most notably the 6-0 aggregate romping they were given by Melbourne and especially the much publicised and scrutinised outbursts by their coach Aurelio Vidmar.
Queensland Roar on the other hand are quietly sitting back like a vindictive teenage girl planning on how to make her cheating ex-boyfriends year even more humiliating than it has been and stomping on his nuts while he’s down and out too... nup, I don’t really like Adelaides chances tomorrow.

The missus predicts:
Adelaide United 2 v 3 Queensland Roar

*she used to be one of those vindictive teenage girls. xoxo

Predictions - La Liga - 21st / 22nd February

With the UCL just around the corner, most of the bigger teams in Spain will be keeping one eye on the league and the other on European glory. That coupled with the Catalan derby and the financial difficulties some clubs are facing... this weekend promises some very mixed results... this is how we picked 'em.

Predictions:
FC Barcelona 3 v 1 Espanyol
Real Madrid 2 v 1 Real Betis
Villarreal 1 v 1 Sporting Gijón
Sevilla 3 v 1 Atlético Madrid
Osasuna 2 v 0 Numancia
Recreativo Huelva 2 v 1 Almería
Getafe 1 v 1 Athletic Bilbao
Mallorca 3 v 1 Racing Santander
Deportivo La Coruña 1 v 1 Valencia
Valladolid 2 v 1 Málaga

For more reviews of this weekends La Liga action visit Head or Tails.

Predictions - Barclays Premier League - 21st / 23rd February

A massive game at Villa Park on Saturday and the battle for second spot! As I reported yesterday, Guus was doing some spying and I really think he has the key to re-starting Chelsea's assault on the League, no matter how late in the race Sir Ferg may think it is.

I predict:
Aston Villa 1 v 2 Chelsea
Arsenal 3 v 0 Sunderland
Bolton 1 v 2 West Ham
Middlesbrough 0 v 0 Wigan
Stoke City 1 v 2 Portsmouth
Man Utd 2 v 0 Blackburn
Fulham 1 v 1 West Brom
Liverpool 2 v 0 Man City
Newcastle 1 v 2 Everton
Hull City 2 v 3 Tottenham

Oh shut up Pipo! - Werder Bremen 1 v 1 AC Milan

There he goes again! Another cheap goal for Filipo Inzaghi and yet another OTT celebration. Seriously, am I the only one that's over this douchbag's frenzied runs to the corner flag while waving his arms in the air and screaming like his balls just got caught in a bear trap? Someone put him out of his misery!
One word: Taser... problem solved!

Match highlights:

Review - UEFA CUP - Aston Villa 1 v 1 CSKA Moskow

WARNING! WARNING! Sound the alarms! Dutchian spies encroaching!
That's right Guss Hiddink and Roman Abramovich were in the stands at Villa Park doing some fact finding for their teams encounter this weekend in the Premier League.
What exactly did they find out?

• Viagra Love skipping through what is usually a tight Villa defense... uh oh!
• Almost all of Villa's attacks were being instigated down their left flank... hmm, Bosigwa should stop that,
• Villa's attackers, especially Abonglahor, were very, very wasteful in front of goals... even lard ass Ivanovic would look good defending for Chelsea if Villa keep this up.

I don't think I'm jumping the gun when I say Villa are in trouble and the worst thing is that this was CSKA's first competitive match since the start of their winter break on December 4th 2008!... oh my!

Match highlights:

Review - Manchester United 3 v 0 Fulham

Wiping the smug grin off my face today won't be that easy and it sure as hell won't deny the fact that I prophetically predicted the outcome AND one of the scorers of this match... just look at the image from the previous post, you'll see Wooney scoring with his left peg against Fulham last year... now look at the image above. Almost identical! Well except for the amount of hair on his cranium. Anyway, call it luck, call it wisdom, call it whatever, I tend to think of it as an acquired skill and maybe, just maybe I'll teach you how to do it too kids... in the meantime though, can someone tell me why they haven't crowned United with the title already? It really is a no-brainer!

Match highlights:

Prediction: Manchester United v Fulham

This one's a no brainer really!
Fulham haven't won a game for some time and well United will go 5 points clear of Liverpool if they get the points tonight. I don't know about you, but I'm actually fearing for the Fulham defense and their keeper Mark Schwarzer in this match... if my predictions are right, they're in for a beating worse than that of pop-star Rihanna... oh, I didn't just publish that did I?
Ah well, good luck Fulham, Sir Ferg and his boys don't take threats on their title aspirations lightly... and they sure as hell won't call for assistance when you're lying there bruised and battered either.

I predict:
Manchester United 3 v 0 Fulham

Older Manchester Utd news:
Review - West Ham 0 v 1 Manchester United
Review - West Brom 0 v 5 Manchester United
Review - FA Cup - Manchester United 2 v 1 Tottenham
Review - Carling Cup - Manchester United 4 v 2 Derby County

Results - La Liga - 14th / 15th February

A tough weekend of matches to predict, hence the less than stellar gameweek score. If it's any consolation we predicted that Madrid would wallop Sporting Gijón and that Betis would beat Barca and well the later almost happened, if it wasn't for E'to's late heroics, but then again almost doesn't make our predictions any more credible, does it. Kind of like the time I almost took that stripper home and later realised she had a hidden appendage "agenda"... yikes, that was close! Umm... what were we talking about!?

Gameweek score:
3 out of 10

Results:
Numancia 0 v 1 Mallorca
Athletic Bilbao 1 v 1 Recreativo Huelva
Real Betis 2 v 2 FC Barcelona
Deportivo La Coruña 0 v 0 Osasuna
Espanyol 0 v 2 Sevilla
Valencia CF 1 v 1 Málaga
Sporting Gijón 0 v 4 Real Madrid
Racing Santander 1 v 1 Villarreal
Almería 3 v 2 Real Valladolid
Atlético Madrid 1 v 1 Getafe

Match highlights - Sporting Gijón 0 v 4 Real Madrid:


For more reviews of this weekends La Liga action visit Head or Tails.

Review - Derby della Madonnina - Internazionale 2 v 1 AC Milan

Football is such a funny game... but it just get's down right weird when it's being played on the biggest stage in Italy and I for one just don't understand it! One minute a manager can reprimanded his out of sorts striker because of his vicarious lifestyle and the next they're hugging on the touch line after the striker used his hand to score a goal! Huh!? I would have been less confused about this situation if dancing dogs had taken the field wearing tutu's while balancing beach balls on their noses... at the very least I would have thought Adriano was turning the San Siro into a freaky nightclub!

Match highlights:


Older Inter news:
Prediction - Derby della Madonnina - Internazionale v AC Milan
UEFA Champions League Last 16 Draw
Champions League - Matchday 5 Review - Wednesday

Review - A-League Finals - Melbourne 4 v 0 Adelaide

If you thought Adelaide's season couldn't get any worse, you either need to watch the highlights below or think again! They must have seriously pissed off some afterlife gods or some shit cause the nightmare only seems to continue. It wasn't enough that they were punished 5-0 on aggregate against Gamba Osaka in the ACL finals, they missed out on the Premiers plate to Melbourne by a point, got drilled in the two legged major semi-final 6-0 and now their coach Aurelio Vidmar has spilt the beans on in-fighting and... hold your breath... shock horror... Politics! Politics!? C'mon man, politics didn't go out and get its ass kicked by a better opponent, your players did! And it'll happen again next week if they don't wise up.
Not that it really matters though cause since his press conference rant, Adelaide's board have come out and pledged their support for Vidmar and feel that they've setteled most of the issues at hand... I don't know about you, but this is better than re-runs of Melrose Place! It's got bitching, underhanded manipulation and football... I wonder if in next week's episode Vidmar will be out of a job looking for a new gig or if he'll be sleeping with the club owners wife... just to drill it home that he really doesn't like the club anymore! That's what I'd do!

Match highlights:

Review - Real Betis 2 v 2 Barcelona

Good one Betis... you numb-sculls!
You blew a perfect two goal lead, which we predicted, against the best strike force in Spain... hmmm, I guess that's why they're on top and considered the best yeah?

Match highlights:

Prediction - Derby della Madonnina - Internazionale v AC Milan

Geez, it's that time already? It only feels like yesterday when AC were punishing an underwhelmingly average Inter side and Ronaldinho was pounding the ball into the back of the net. So what has changed since then?... well going by the image I dug up... ALOT! Gattuso has had re-constructive knee surgery ruling him out for months, Quesresma is now at warming the bench at Chelsea and 'Golden Balls' is desperately trying to extend his stay at the Rossoneri by declaring his undying love for the club and team... oh, how romantic he waited for a day after Valentines day to do it!

I predict:
Inter 1 v 1 AC Milan

Prediction - Portsmouth v Manchester City

I must admit, it's not the most enthralling match, but a match never the less. Portsmouth will be looking to put things right after the sacking of Tony Adams, whereas City's Brazillian contingent had a great night destroying World Champions Italy the other night. There's a lot in it for both teams, but I can't see them splitting the points here, as they both want them badly.

I predict:
Portsmouth 2 v 2 Manchester city

Predictions - La Liga - 14th / 15th February

Hold onto your hats folks, there's an upset in the works! Will the fierce goal machine that is Barcelona struggle at bottom feeders Betis? Our La Liga experts over at Heads or Tails feel this is the week Madrid will make up some much needed ground on their quest for the top... this is THE game!

Predictions:
Numancia 1 v 1 Mallorca
Athletic Bilbao 2 v 1 Recreativo Huelva
Real Betis 2 v 1 FC Barcelona
Deportivo La Coruña 1 v 2 Osasuna
Espanyol 2 v 1 Sevilla
Valencia 3 v 1 Málaga
Spórting Gijón 1 v 3 Real Madrid
Racing Santander 2 v 2 Villarreal
Almería 2 v 0 Valladolid
Atlético Madrid 3 v 0 Getafe

For more reviews of this weekends La Liga action visit Head or Tails.

Prediction - A-League Finals - Melbourne v Adelaide

Archie Thompson knows a thing or two... or 5 about finals football yet even though this isn’t the actual final, the Victory are pretty sure they have one foot in it already... and possibly one hand on the prize too.
As it stands so far, Adelaide have only manged to score 2 goals in four matches against the Victory this year and well they’re currently down 2-0 on aggregate going into this all important decider, so much like the ACL final, this match is not really about if they can win the game, it’s about how many goals they’ll try not to concede!
As for those of you wanting to wager against the Victory tonight... I simply advise a visit to any looney bin or to your local physio... you know, so they can help you remove your head out your own ass. Pop!

I predict:
Melbourne 3 v 1 Adelaide

International Friendly - Spain 2 v 0 England

Shhh... listen carefully... can you hear that? No, I didn't think so... that's the sound the England fans made at the Estadio Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan in Seville last night after a dissapointing match by the visitors. Leading up to the game, both teams were in form with Eng-err-land unbeaten in 5 and España unbeaten in 28... now 29, but that changed over the course of the 90 minutes and Spain dominated with large spells of possession and with some very crisp passing.
However, as disappointing as it was for England to lose, Beck's still managed a substitutes role, and a crisp pass of his own at the death, while also to bagging his 108th cap for the Three-Lions, which I must admit is a fine achievement no matter who you are... I guess now all that remains is to find 108 matching outfits for David to wear with his 'caps'... but given the wardrobe this guy has, something tells me it shouldn't be too hard to do.

Match highlights:

Review - WCQ 2010 - Japan 0 v 0 Australia

Oh the inhumanity of it all... it was dastardly, hideous, ugly... f-ugly even! No I'm not referring to Scott Chipperfield's receding hairline and borderline chimp-like cranium... I'm actually referring to the uncoordinated game the Socceroos played tonight against a much more organised opponent in Japan. Here's what coach Pim had to say:

It is nice to see with basically no preparation that defensively we did very well.
"We couldn't hold the ball, especially the last 15 or 20 minutes, we lost the ball a little bit easily and that is why we came under pressure... but I think 0-0 away to Japan is a great result."

Ok so it was a poor showing, but on the up side for the Australian, they snuck a point, kept another clean sheet (that's 534min without conceding... look out Van Der Sar!) and are still top of their group. On the down side, Pim is still playing Brett Holman who time and time again continues to disappoint. Seriously, this dude has to go... or even better, sub him on, drag him after 5 minutes... sub him back on and drag him again! I'm not speaking through experience here, but I'm pretty sure that'll ensure he doesn't want to come back again, even if he does get another call up... you should do it some time Pim, I'm 100% positive it'll be a liberating experience!

Match highlights coming shortly:

Older Socceroos posts:
Prediction - WCQ 2010 - Japan v Australia
Review - Indonesia 0 v 0 Australia
Prediction - Indonesia v Australia

International Friendly - Brazil 2 vs 0 Italy

An assist and a moment of brilliance by the feather-foot Robinho gave Brazil a morale boosting win over World Champs Italy overnight... but more importantly did you see Robinho's feet once he got into the box... I sure as hell didn't and neither did the Italian defenders! His body was still, but his legs were moving so fast that they tricked everyone... like suspended animation or something out of a Buck Rogers comic, except without the lycra jumpsuits, ray guns and quirky aliens... oh wait a minute, retract the alien part Mauro Camoranesi was playing!

Match highlights:

Guus To Replace Scolari!?

Just when I though this day couldn't get any more confusing, 'Aussie Guus' is considering taking the vacant managerial posi over at Chelsea:

I must say that this is an exceptional situation. If it was any other club aside from Chelsea my answer would be a straight 'no'.
"But Chelsea is different because I have good relations with the owner. So I would like to help them in this situation if I could. But this would only be for the next two or three months until the end of the season.
"I will not leave my job with the Russian national team. It's out of the question. When I took the Russia job it was a long-term project and I don't like to leave it unfinished."

Maybe I got slapped in the head a little hard by the boobs at the titty bar earlier today and the concussion is starting to kick in... I don't know, but if this is true, I never thought I'd ever say this, it'll be a masterstroke by Roman Abramovitch and his squillions... yep definitely the concussion setting in.
Anyway, it'll be a brilliant move... a ballsy one but none the less brilliant! This is the kind of situation Guus hangs out for. Look at what he did with Russia, Australia even South Korea... shit imagine how effective he's tactics will be if he can get a team to work on them full time! I don't really like Chelsea (mainly cause of Abramovitch), but if Guus steps in as coach, they just might turn their season around and win shit.

Older Guus Hiddink news:
Prediction - Netherlands v Russia
Review - Russia 2 v 0 Sweden
Pride of Russia

Chelsea Sack Scolari... Whaaa?

I was shocked when I awoke this morning to the news that Phil Scolari had been sacked as Chelsea manager and along with the rest of the puzzled world, I guess so was Alex Ferguson:

I'm very surprised. It's a shock that one. He only took the job seven months ago...
Really it's a sign of the times, I'm afraid. There's absolutely no patience in the world today," he added.
Having lost the European Cup final, there were still expectations for Chelsea to do well this year. It's really only in the last month that they've had a bad spell. So I feel the judgement [to sack Scolari] is really based on the last month, not the previous six months. It is a surprise," he concluded.

Surely Big Phil knew this was coming yeah... I mean the precedent was set last season when Avram Grant's Chelsea finished runners up in the league and Champions League and he was still sacked. Ok so Phil's team haven't been playing the best football of late but they are still on track to win all three competitions they're in... I just don't get the logic behind this decision... although as always, I do offer a solution:
It's not rocket science, although I'm sure some board members and Roman Abramoviches would beg to differ, all they have to do is try and hold onto a manager for longer than a season. Heck United have done it for about 22yrs. Their secret? Stability. Chelsea need to create some stability within the club and then they might actually see some results which usually equals success.
Anyway, I'm over teaching Football Club Management 101 for the day, who want's to join me at a titty bar!?... I tell ya there's nothing like watching a 40 yr old's boobies swinging against your cheeks to make you forget about the cut throat business that is the Premier League... oh and to all those still interested, just sit back and watch Chelsea spiral out of the top four, miss out on European glory and Abramovich slap the Chelsea faithful in the face by selling the club to the next highest bidder... no not me thanks, I'll take the boobies over a slap in the face any day of the week!

Older Chelsea reviews:
Review - Liverpool 2 v 0 Chelsea
Review - Chelsea 2 v 1 Stoke
So What Happened To Chelsea!?
Review - Manchester United 3 v 0 Chelsea
Review - Chelsea 1 v 2 Arsenal

Prediction - WCQ 2010 - Japan v Australia

Hey all you crazy Japanesies, put aside your peculiar fetishes and weird worldly possessions cause the Socceroos are in town and they're coming to get you! Especially their coach, Pim Verbeek:

It doesn't show a lot of confidence if you have a five-week training camp and play four friendly matches and still need to close the sessions," said the Dutchman. "We don't close our sessions."

My only hope of this match is that the Aussies have brought with them their European A-game and not their B-game like they did in Bahrain and for Christ's sake not their A-League game either. As far as I'm concerned that team should have stayed in the bowels of the OZ cause it did nothing but tarnish the Socceroos credibility... especially on the streets where it really matters! You know, cause you can never be too sure if the team will be forced to battle it out in a Yakuza style showdown or not. Bonzai!

I predict:
Japan 1 v 1 Australia

Remember this Japanesies?
I think everyone in Australia forever will... well till the next World Cup at least.
It's even in Japanesy for ya:


Older Socceroos reviews:
Review - Indonesia 0 v 0 Australia
Review - Bahrain 0 v 1 Australia
Review - Australia 4 v 0 Qatar

Results - La Liga - 7th / 8th February

Yep, there's nothing like bouncing back after your coach has been sacked just to prove that it he was the rotten apple in your fall from UCL contention... a new coach for Atlético Madrid and a good round of predictions for this weekend.

Gameweek score:
7 out of 10

Results:
Real Madrid 1 v 0 Racing Santander
Sevilla 1 v 2 Real Betis
Osasuna 1 v 0 Valencia CF
Getafe 1 v 1 Espanyol
Málaga 3 v 2 Almería
Valladolid 2 v 1 Athletic Bilbao
Recreativo Huelva 0 v 3 Atlético Madrid
FC Barcelona 3 v 1 Sporting Gijón
Villarreal 2 v 1 Numancia
Mallorca 1 v 1 Deportivo La Coruña

For more reviews of this weekends La Liga action visit Head or Tails.

Results - Barclays Premier League - 7th / 8th February

So not a bad weekend overall as most results panned out as expected... scorelines were a different matter, but eh, it's the results that matter to me and to the many board members running clubs out there... did you hear that Tony Adams? It's the results that matter and unfortunately, 4 wins in 22 games wouldn't cut it on this website... let alone in the Premier League... catch ya later!

Gameweek score:
7 out of 10

Results:
Man City 1 v 0 Middlesbrough
Blackburn 0 v 2 Aston Villa
Chelsea 0 v 0 Hull City
Everton 3 v 0 Bolton
Sunderland 2 v 0 Stoke City
West Brom 2 v 3 Newcastle
Wigan 0 v 0 Fulham
Portsmouth 2 v 3 Liverpool
Tottenham 0 v 0 Arsenal
West Ham 0 v 1 Man Utd

Review - West Ham 0 v 1 Manchester United

Chelsea and Arsenal take note... this is how championship winning teams win Championships! Even when they're "better" players are having an off day, they still manage to grind out a win... and thanks to the combination play of some young'ns and some of the most experienced players in the league, a goal and yet another clean sheet have put them right on course to win another piece of silverware. Wenger's squad is too young and Scholari's squad is too old; they need to either combine their teams or take note of the mix in age and experience in United's ranks... then they might get a sniff at the title... but till then, this race is almost over already.
Kudos to West Ham for making United work hard for the winner though.

Match highlights:

Review - Tottenham 0 v 0 Arsenal

Once again Arsenal failed to maintain the pace of the top four and once again they'll be rueing this as a lost chance, especially with Chelsea being held by Hull the other night. Tottenham on the other hand would probably feel as though they deserved more and if it wasn't for Almunia's heroic save on Luka Modrić's last ditch effort, well they may have taken all three points and put a right 'ol stop to Arsenal's UCL dreams... oh just on that note, guess who'll be dreaming nightmares tonight and possibly for the next week... if you said Eboue... EBooyah! full marks to you courtesy of the Professor!

Match highlights:

Review - Portsmouth 2 v 3 Liverpool

Classy Torres, lucky Liverpool... even luckier Benitez.
How many more times will Rafa's poor decisions go unpunished? I mean he started this match with an almost second string team and tried to keep his big gun's fresh, which I'll give him credit for cause it worked... but what if it didn't and they drew (which I predicted and was minutes away from achieving... thanks Torres). Anyway, I know some say, "all good teams create their own luck"... to them I say Liverpool don't "create", they "stumble" and if it wasn't for Gerrard and recently Torres popping up their pampered heads, Liverpool would be in a right old mess... by which I mean out of the four fighting with the likes of Arsenal and Everton to get back in... go on Benitez, I dare you to try your second string team "luck" again... I double dare ya!

Match highlights:
Portsmouth V Liverpool

Review - Balckburn 0 v 2 Aston Villa

Aston Villa's dream run continues... I know, I know you're sick of hearing it, trust me I'm sick of saying it! To tell you the truth though, every time I see Villa's results and their position on the ladder, I think that they're playing in some fantasy land and that mythical creatures are replacing their players and casting spells on their opposition to make them concede possession and goals... well how else do you explain the 7 game unbeaten streak they're on!? Their players can't be human! How else do you explain the likes of Wilfred Bouma and Marlon Harewood

Match highlights:

Review - A-League Finals - Adelaide 0 v 2 Melbourne

Danny 'The not so lemon' Allsopp, managed to give Melbourne a great advantage going into next weeks major semi final and heap yet more misery on Aurelio Vidmar's men. Gees, who'd a thought that Australia's most successful club team (Adelaide... all though some would argue Melbourne or Sydney), would be struggling so much come the end of the season... maybe it's the amount of matches they had to play in their dream run to the ACL final, maybe it was the hang-over from their CWC campaign... or maybe it's just that Victory were way too good for Adelaide who look like they've shut up shop for the year.

As I mentioned earlier, Victory will meet the Roar in the A-League finals... and most likely win it.

Match highlights:

Review - A-League Finals - Central Coast 0 v 2 Queensland

Queensland's favourite Dijke, Sergio van Dijke, capped off what was an expected win against the Mariners and they can now go to Suncorp Stadium in a weeks time with one foot in the preliminary final... oh and the other stuck in Dylan Macallister's leg... nice-one Tiatto you chopstick! Go and play Rugby you menacing half wit... clearly you have a problem laying off the nasty tackles!


When Queensland meet Melbourne in the final, I hope Tiatto's ban is such that he has to sit on the sideline... and watch his team lose.

Match highlights:

Predictions - Barclays Premier League - 7th / 8th February

So with the sagas of the transfer window now behind everyone, I think the match that I'm most keen about this weekend is the London derby between Tottenham and Arsenal. Keane will be making his comeback appearance for the Lillywhites and Arshavin his debut for the Gunners. Last round these teams played out a scorcher and there are always a lot of talking points when they meet... so this round won't disappoint.

I predict:
Man City 2 v 0 Middlesbrough
Blackburn 1 v 2 Aston Villa
Chelsea 3 v 1 Hull City
Everton 2 v 1 Bolton
Sunderland 3 v 1 Stoke City
West Brom 0 v 1 Newcastle
Wigan 2 v 2 Fulham
Portsmouth 1 v 1 Liverpool
Tottenham 1 v 2 Arsenal
West Ham 0 v 2 Man Utd

Predictions - La Liga - 7th / 8th February

Ah... there's nothing better than ending the week with the sacking of your coach to get a positive response from your team. And much like Madrids sacking of Schuster late last year, this change at Atlético may spark a resurgence and possibly UCL football next year... but there's a long way to go yet.

Predictions:
Real Madrid 3 v 1 Racing Santander
Sevilla 3 v 1 Real Betis
Osasuna 2 v 1 Valencia
Getafe 1 v 1 Espanyol
Málaga 1 v 1 Almería
Valladolid 2 v 0 Athletic Bilbao
Recreativo Huelva 0 v 2 Atlético Madrid
FC Barcelona 3 v 1 Sporting Gijón
Villarreal 3 v 0 Numancia
Mallorca 2 v 0 Deportivo La Coruña

For more reviews of this weekends La Liga action visit Head or Tails.

Predictions - A-League - Finals Series

Everyone's favourite time of the A-League season is here!
It's a time when grown men are likely to become morons, when heroes car quickly turn to villains (and vice-versa), and when Prime Ministers heads are kissed and the nation laughs!
Yeah you know it, I'm talking bout the A-League finals series... Aww shit!

Central Coast v Queensland:
- Central Coast never beaten Queensland at Blue Tongue Stadium
- No team has ever finished fourth and made it through to the final three
- CCM have lost their past three matches to the other sides in the top four

I predict:
Central Coast 1 v 2 Queensland Roar

Adelaide v Melbourne:
- Adelaide hasn't beaten Melbourne in three attemplts this season
- Melbourne has won five of its past six matches
- Robert Cornthwaite is out for Adelaide

I predict:
Adelaide 2 v 2 Melbourne

Review - FA Cup - Finally Someone Wins The Derby!

Everton v Liverpool... again!? Man, we're only into Feb and I've already typed these results like a *million times... wait, this time there was actually a winner!? Oh snap!
So I'm trying to determine if Rafa should be panicking about the fact that Liverpool has been knocked out of another competition or about the lack of depth on their bench when Gerard is substituted, which do you think? Oh and don't be surprised if you soon see a wind up monkey playing the cymbals in their midfield... it'll be more entertaining than watching the other half wits running around!

*not actually a million; more like twice:
Here and here

Match highlights:

Official - Andrei Arshavin Is A Gunner

Finally the saga that was the Arshavin deal is complete and by the looks of things everyone is happy... even Wenger (I know, I know... its a rarity):

He is a versatile player with great experience, who will add real quality to our squad. Andrey is an exciting impact player with a huge amount of ability and has been an influential force with both Zenit St Petersburg and the Russian national team in recent seasons."

He may be an experienced 27 year old, but he sure as hell looks like a teen so he shouldn't have any problems fitting in with the rest of the prepubescent's over at the Emirates. It'll be good to see him in the mix on the weekend against Pavlyuchenko and co, but it's highly unlikely that'll happen given his lack of match fitness recently. All that aside though, my only "real" concern about this deal is that he only speaks Russian and bits of broken English... not French! Oui oui!

Arshavin's first Arsenal interview:
They're innocent mistakes for someone learning the language... but you can't help laugh at some of his responses. Da?


Older Arshavin news:
Arshavin Coming, No Going, No Coming... To Arsenal?
What's The Deal With Arsenal And Arshavin!?
Russia's 'Little Jewel' Andrei Arshavin

Keano, A Yid Once Again...

So inevitabry after a failed 6 month stint at Liverpool under Rafa "You won't make the bench unless someone from my starting 11 dies" Benitez, a somewhat relieved and remorseful Robbie Keane is back in the white & blue of Tottenham Hotspurs:

It was a difficult decision to make to leave Tottenham in the summer. It proved not to be the right move for me...
I know some Spurs fans will feel I let them down by leaving but I can assure them I shall be giving my all for this Club - this Club has terrific fans and I want to repay them for all their support. We've got to get on and fight our way up that league table."

This is a good deal for the Lillywhites, well at least in my mind anyway and from what I've gathered as long as Keano gets back to his scoring ways, all will be forgiven by the fans... what concerns me though is not what the fans will think of him, but what Tottenham paid to get him back. Think about it, they sent him to the Merseysiders in great form for £20 million and have now bought him back for about £15 million even though he's only managed to score 7 goals in 25ish appearances... how could he possibly be worth that still?

Older Tottenham news:
Review - Bolton 3 v 2 Tottenham
Review - FA Cup - Manchester United 2 v 1 Tottenham
Review - Carling Cup - Burnley 3 v 2 Tottenham
Review - Tottenham 0 v 0 Manchester United

Arshavin Coming, No Going, No Coming... To Arsenal?

Seriously, this has now become a joke. Every five minutes different media outlets "speculate" a different scenario. First it was Zenit couldn't agree terms, then Zenit could but Arshavin couldn't, then he was being flown to London and thought he had an approved work permit but the work permit wasn't approved, then the permit got approved, he got there but his agent denied he was there, then the deal was off, then it started snowing (probably money) and the deal was kind of back on and now, after almost 2 moths of wheeling and dealing, Arsenal still haven't secured his services and by the looks of things, might not get him... shit, I'm exhausted just typing that out and I'm going to laugh if this has all just been a waste of time... f**k it, I'll just laugh now for the sake of it... hahahaaaaaaa!

My hot tip:
Like the last minute swoop for Robinho from Chelsea's grasp, I'll be laughing if the same thing happens in this case and Arshavin becomes a Citizen overnight... it'll serve Arsenal right for not sealing the deal sooner.

Review - Lazio 0 v 3 AC Milan

AC Milan's ever improving form continued overnight and again Beckham and Kaka were pivotal to the teams success. Beckham's two assists put Pato and Ambrosini on the score sheet and then some brilliant inter-play between Seedorf and Kaka cut right through the heart of Lazio's defense only for the Brazilian, wearing his new Adidas Adi-Pure boots to calmly slot past the advancing Lazio keeper... Pure-class!

Match highlights:


Older AC Milan news:
Review - AC Milan 1 v 1 Genoa
Review - Bologna 1 v 4 Milan
Football Keeps It's Soul - Kaka Stays At Milan
Review - AC Milan 1 v 0 Fiorentina

Results - La Liga - 31st / 1st February

Super subs, red cards, last minute penalties... this weekends La Liga had it all! And if the trusty judgment of our friends over at Heads or Tails is correct, Atlético Madrid coach Javier Aguirre could be out of a job quick smart.

Gameweek score:
4 out of 10

Results:
Athletic Bilbao 3 v 2 Malaga
Numancia 0 v 2 Real Madrid
Espanyol 1 v 1 Recreativo Huelva
Deportivo 3 v 0 Villarreal
Osasuna 1 v 0 Mallorca
Atlético Madrid 1 v 2 Real Valladolid
Betis 2 v 2 Getafe
Valencia 3 v 2 Almería
Racing Santander 1 v 2 FC Barcelona
Sporting Gijón 1 v 0 Sevilla

Racing Santander 1 v 2 FC Barcelona - Match highlights:

Results - Barclays Premier League - 31st / 1st February

Wow, from Zero to Hero in a week! This weeks predictions were as poor as Howard Webb's penalty decision against Sunderland or even worse... Mike Riley's carding of Frank Lampard. Shite, that is bad!

Gameweek score:
3 out of 10

Results:
Stoke City 1 v 0 Man City
Arsenal 0 v 0 West Ham
Aston Villa 0 v 0 Wigan
Bolton 3 v 2 Tottenham
Fulham 3 v 1 Portsmouth
Hull City 2 v 2 West Brom
Middlesbrough 0 v 0 Blackburn
Man Utd 2 v 0 Everton
Newcastle 1 v 1 Sunderland
Liverpool 2 v 0 Chelsea

Review - Liverpool 2 v 0 Chelsea

Fernando Torres, the '14yr old looking' 24 year old, saved Liverpool from their fifth consecutive draw by scoring two late goals and putting a big dent in Chelsea's title aspirations. And even though I seriously thought they were going to struggle to contain Chelsea last night, it was actually the Blues, who even prior to Lampard's dismissal, were the ones that were struggling to keep up with Liverpool.
I don't know if it's just my imagination, but it seems as though Chelsea forget how to attack when they're playing against the bigger teams of the league and well, their aging defense often seems to struggle to keep up with the barrage of attacks coming from the opposing teams... in this case conceding right at the death... two time!
Looks like Big Phil has concerns throughout the club... do I dare say that one may be his future?

Talking points:

The turning point at the hour mark saw Frank Lampard red carded for a lunge on Xabi Alonso, which at first looked more malicious than the replays showed...


... so what exactly was the excuse for no card being presented to Bosignwa here!? Hai-ya!

Match highlights:

Prediction - Liverpool v Chelsea

I don't really fancy Liverpools chances tonight, given their poor start to '09, but having said that, they are difficult to come up against at Anfield and given the form of Gerrard of late, shit anything's possible! Chelsea's form on the other hand has improved dramatically since their loss to United weeks ago so I think there'll be a couple goals in this one... for both teams.
Torress to score, followed by Anelka and Kalou and then as always a dramatic equaliser by Gerrard late on, to salvage a point for the Reds.

I predict:
Liverpool 2 v 2 Chelsea

Review - Arsenal 0 v 0 West Ham

Arsenal failed to capitalise on Aston Villa's goalless draw overnight to Wigan, only managing one of their own at home to an industrious West Ham. I don't know about Wenger, but the alarm bells regarding Arsenal's future started sounding months ago and now, with every passing week, not only do I get more and more agitated, but I wish more and more that Adebayor no longer played for Arsenal... it's nothing personal Ade, it's just that I've seen endangered African elephants score easier goals than the opportunities you missed this weekend and they had loaded rifles pointed at them!... but maybe that's the solution!? Mwahahaha!

Review - Bolton 3 v 2 Tottenham

Just like my mum walking in on me and the missus going at it hammer and tong, this match caught me by surprise and I was almost expecting Tottenham with their new January recruits to walk out of the Reebok Stadium with all three points. Turns out Kevin Davies and my mum had other ideas... to get the hell out of her house with nothing but the clothes (or lack there of) on my back!

Match highlights:

Predictions - La Liga - 31st / 1st February

Due to a lack of internet access on the weekend I was unable to put these predictions up before yesterdays matches... but I have however redeemed myself by putting them up now and so far we're at 2 out of 2... good start, let's see what happens tonight.

Predictions:
Athletic Bilbao 3 v 1 Malaga
Numancia 0 v 2 Real Madrid

Espanyol 3 v 1 Recreativo Huelva
Deportivo 1 v 3 Villarreal
Osasuna 2 v 0 Mallorca
Atlético Madrid 2 v 0 Real Valladolid
Betis 2 v 0 Getafe
Valencia 3 v 1 Almería
Racing Santander 2 v 2 FC Barcelona
Sporting Gijón 1 v 2 Sevilla

Results so far:
Athletic Bilbao 3 v 2 Malaga
Numancia 0 v 2 Real Madrid

For more reviews of this weekends La Liga action visit Head or Tails.