With the final game week of the season only hours away, all eyes are on two teams… well four if you count their opponents. As for me, I’ve decided to allow my predictions to speak for themselves and for the last time this season, this is how I’ve picked’em.

I predict:
Arsenal 3 v 2 Fulham
Aston Villa 2 v 0 Blackburn
Bolton 1 v 1 Birmingham
Burnley 0 v 3 Tottenham
Chelsea 4 v 1 Wigan
Everton 2 v 1 Portsmouth
Hull City 1 v 1 Liverpool
Man Utd 3 v 0 Stoke City
West Ham 1 v 3 Man City
Wolves 1 v 1 Sunderland

As the race for 1st and 4th spot’s heats up, this weekend will see some crucial matches being played… fortunately for me, I’ll be watching them in Europe… so there!

And this is how I picked ‘em this weekend.

I predict:
Birmingham 2 v 1 Burnley
Man City 2 v 2 Aston Villa
Portsmouth 1 v 1 Wolves
Stoke City 1 v 3 Everton
Tottenham 2 v 0 Bolton
Liverpool 1 v 2 Chelsea
Fulham 1 v 0 West Ham
Sunderland 0 v 2 Man Utd
Wigan 3 v 1 Hull City
Blackburn 1 v 3 Arsenal
Fulham 2 v 1 Stoke City
Man City 2 v 1 Tottenham

After a couple weeks of sloppy punditry and ill timed posts, I have returned to step my game up for the ass end of the season (I’ve always been an ass man)… and what a weekend to pull the finger out for!

Along with battles for the title and relegation shit fights, there has been a huge amount of focus on the much sought after fourth and final Champions League spot that is still up for grabs, amazingly by four teams! My focus this weekend however takes us to Arsenal’s Emirates stadium in what will not only be a battle of the Emirate Arab shirt sponsors, Emirates (Dubai) v Etihad (Abu Dhabi), but also the return of Emmanuel Adebayor to his old stomping ground… aka. Round Two mother f*cker!

After celebrating like a right royal jack-ass when scoring at the Midlands last September, I look forward to seeing how the Togolese bean pole is received by Arsenal fans this weekend (more so than the match itself), however on a footballing front, I fear that the Gunners just won’t be equipped to handle what the Citizens throw at them (possibly spears?) and unless poster-boy Robin van Persie steps up and takes this match by the scruff of the neck with a hat-trick Arsenal could well be pulled into that fourth place show down for the final few rounds of the season and that’ll be tighter than a nun’s nasties!

Here’s how I picked the rest of ‘em:

I predict:
Man Utd 1 v 1 Tottenham
Bolton 2 v 1 Portsmouth
Hull City 1 v 1 Sunderland
West Ham 2 v 2 Wigan
Wolves 1 v 1 Blackburn
Arsenal 2 v 2 Man City
Aston Villa 3 v 2 Birmingham
Burnley 1 v 4 Liverpool
Everton 1 v 0 Fulham
Chelsea 2 v 0 Stoke City

This weekend sees a match that needs little introduction and has become one of the most anticipated across the globe. Whether it be Drogba lying on the ground twitching his leg like he’s having an epileptic fit or controversial late goals by cheating captains, there is never a dull moment when these two teams meet and frankly I don’t see things changing todya… especially with so much riding on the outcome of this match! Rooney’s injury could be a blow to United so late in the season, but Dimitar “I won’t chase the ball for a minimum 150k a week” Berbatov should step and deliver, right?
Err, I doubt it; what I don’t doubt though is Drogba’s return to the squad and his hunger for goals to pull Chelsea over the line and a step closer to the title… something they should of had locked in months ago!
And here’s how I picked the rest of ‘em:

I predict:
Man Utd 1 v 2 Chelsea
Arsenal 2 v 0 Wolves
Bolton 1 v 3 Aston Villa
Portsmouth 1 v 1 Blackburn
Stoke City 2 v 2 Hull City
Sunderland 1 v 3 Tottenham
Burnley 0 v 2 Man City
Birmingham 1 v 1 Liverpool
Fulham 2 v 1 Wigan
Everton 3 v 0 West Ham

Arsenal and Chelsea’s title plans could be derailed this weekend as they prepare to slug out their respective matches against two stubborn teams from the midlands; Birmingham just refuse to lose at home and Villa have had the upper hand on ‘The Pensioners’ this season all ready. Both matches will go toe to toe. I’m also expecting relatively routine win’s for the Red Devils, Tottenham and City, but perhaps the most interesting fixture of the week is round two of the season’s most controversial incident so far, yes I’m referring to Balloongate and the bizzare manner in which it swept the globe spawing the creation of many fan site and Ballon appreciation societies. And this is how I picked ‘em this week.

I predict:
Birmingham 0 v 1 Arsenal
chelsea 2 v 2 Aston Villa
Hull City 1 v 2 Fulham
Tottenham 3 v 0 Portsmouth
West Ham 2 v 1 Stoke City
Wolves 1 v 3 Everton
Bolton 0 v 2 Man Utd
Burnley 1 v 2 Blackburn
Liverpool 3 v 1 Sunderland
Man City 4 v 2 Wigan

With Arsenal’s win sending them top of the pops last night, pressure now lies with United to produce the goods against a Liverpool who have all hands back on deck and firing(?)… not to mention their desire to break into the top four again. If they can combine, Torres and Gerard should give Vidic and Ferdinand some headaches, while at the other end, Wayne Rooney will be doing his best to keep Liverpool resigned to the Europa Cup for next year.
The one thing I do know for certain is that this match will either be a complete white wash by one team or a late 1-0 win courtesy of an unmarked players’ strike at the back post.

I predict:
Man Utd 1 v 0 Liverpool [goal courtesy of Darren Fletcher]

Predictions:
Tottenham 2 v 1 Blackburn
Birmingham 2 v 2 Everton
Bolton 1 v 0 Wigan
Burnley 1 v 1 Wolves
Chelsea 4 v 0 West Ham
Stoke City 1 v 1 Aston Villa
Hull City 1 v 3 Arsenal
Man Utd 2 v 0 Fulham
Sunderland 1 v 3 Man City
Liverpool 2 v 0 Portsmouth
Wigan 0 v 2 Aston Villa

Mick McCarthy’s men put up a huge performance to keep a Rooney-less Manchester United at bay last night, that is until the ‘Ginger Ninja’ Paul Scholes popped up with a late knock-out blow. It’s no wonder rangas have no friends… they always do things when you least expect them too and like to dampen the mood! It’s always about you and United isn’t it Scholes!?

Speaking of late goals… how was Sam Volkes’ lame attempt at an equalizer from about 7yrds out! That’s enough to put a hook in anyone’s nose, ay Mick!?

Match highlights:

Thanks to the lackadaisical nature of one Nicklas Bendtner and his quintuplet of missed chances around the 6yrd box, once again Arsenal made things a little difficult for themselves against visiting Burnley yesterday. Where they should have put this match beyond The Clarets’ grasp, they painstakingly kept it within reach and in doing so gave themselves and their fans a few scares along the way. It wasn’t till man of the match Theo Walcott (yes the same Theo Walcott that strolled around confused for England mid week) stepped up and converted a chance instead of trying to tee it up on a platter for that shmuck Bendtner, that some of the tension eased and then late on Arshavin added the killer “f**k off” with a drive into the near post to seal all three points.
The Gunners back in the title race!

Extended match highlights:

Sitting bottom of the league with your club in administration isn’t an easy pill to swallow and it only get’s harder for Portsmouth this weekend when Alex McLeish’s Birmingham come to town… or does it. The Blues have lost their last three away games and are struggling to find that invincible away form they started the season with, not to mention that in their last seven visits to Frattan Park they’ve only managed draws. So even though Pompey may be down I’m not quite convinced they’re out just yet and I’m giving them a chance to make a mends… so this is how I picked the rest of ‘em this weekend.

I predict:
Arsenal 3 v 0 Burnley
West Ham 1 v 0 Bolton
Wolves 0 v 2 Man Utd
Everton 2 v 1 Hull City
Wigan 1 v 3 Liverpool
Portsmouth 1 v 1 Birmingham
Sunderland 1 v 1 Bolton
Burnley 2 v 2 Stoke City

A massive game this round at the Bridge, with mid-week UCL struggles Chelsea up against mid-week FA Cup flops Man City. Another slip up by the Blues will see United and Arsenal back in contention for the title, whereas a win for City could lock in fourth spot as Tottenham host an in form Everton… whatever the case this weekend is surely going to be huge! And this is how I picked ‘em.

I predict:
Chelsea 2 v 1 Man City
Birmingham 2 v 1 Wigan
Bolton 1 v 1 Wolves
Burnley 1 v 0 Portsmouth
Stoke City 1 v 3 Arsenal
Tottenham 2 v 2 Everton
Liverpool 1 v 1 Blackburn
Sunderland 1 v 2 Fulham

I predict:
Everton 1 v 2 Man Utd
Arsenal 2 v 0 Sunderland
West Ham 1 v 1 Hull City
Wolves 0 v 2 Chelsea
Portsmouth 2 v 2 Stoke City
Blackburn 1 v 0 Bolton
Aston Villa 2 v 0 Burnley
Fulham 2 v 1 Birmingham
Man City 2 v 1 Liverpool
Wigan 1 v 3 Tottenham
Man Utd 3 v 0 West Ham

The action continues mid week with some awesome matches to further shape the look of the league table again. Of particular interest are the clashes between Villa and United, which always go down to one goal separating the two teams, Chelsea’s visit to Goodison Park, which ended like this last round and of course the match of the week, Liverpool’s trip to a struggling Arsenal [remember this].
If results are similar to last round, Chelsea will extend their lead at the top to 3 points, while United’s gain on Arsenal would be cut back to just 4… however, given current form, Rooney and Drogba scoring at will and Arsenal’s lack there of, I don’t see any of this shit going down, so this is how I’ve picked’em for mid week.

I predict:
Man City 2 v 1 Bolton
Portsmouth 1 v 0 Sunderland
Wigan 1 v 1 Stoke City
Fulham 2 v 0 Burnley
Arsenal 1 v 1 Liverpool
Aston Villa 1 v 2 Man Utd
West Ham 2 v 2 Birmingham
Wolves 1 v 2 Tottenham
Blackburn 3 v 2 Hull City
Everton 0 v 2 Chelsea

A terrible, terrible weekend of match predictions by yours truly and an even worse week for the Prem, as thanks to Everton, Tottenham, Villa and City’s poor, poor form, those jammy bastards Liverpool undeservedly re-entered the top four and have actually gained some momentum… look out Arsenal! United briefly went top of the pops till this happened, meanwhile at the ass end of the table, only 8 points separate 11th placed Stoke City and second last Wolves… Pompey should just start drawing up plans for next season’s fizzy-pop championship.

Gameweek score:
3 out of 10

Results:
Liverpool 1 v 0 Everton
Bolton 0 v 0 Fulham
Burnley 2 v 1 West Ham
Hull City 2 v 1 Man City
Man Utd 5 v 0 Portsmouth
Stoke City 3 v 0 Blackburn
Sunderland 1 v 1 Wigan
Tottenham 0 v 0 Aston Villa
Birmingham 2 v 1 Wolves
Chelsea 2 v 0 Arsenal

A glimpse of the weekend’s action:

Match highlights – Liverpool 1 v 0 Everton:

With 12 goals in 10 starts against the Gunners it’s clear that the morning of a match against Arsenal, Didier Drogba wakes up on mounds of money with loads of beautiful women, shapes his eyebrows in the mirror with his index and pinky fingers, winks at himself a couple hundred times while shooting his hands like pistols then proceeds to say to “I am the king!”… shit I know I’d be doing that if I were scoring goals like he did last night and don’t kid yourself, you would too!

The Ivorian king in unstoppable form:

Match highlights: