My inbox has been absolutely slammed lately with press releases and jargon and all of which point to the fugly and possibly camp new Nike Mercurial Vapor II colourways that have been:

“…designed to the exact specification of Cristiano Ronaldo”

REALLY!? All the money in the world and Nike’s brilliant (now questionable) designers at his fingertips and this is what Cristiano Ronaldo’s “exact specifications” were!?
Please just come out with it already!

A year round tan I can deal with; metrosexuality that makes even David Beckham look like a neanderthal, hey I respect that; LEOPARD PRINT FOOTBALL BOOTS!!!… *Slaps forehead* OK now he’s just taking the piss!

Surely this is a joke right and another pair of boots are going to come shooting out of these images… please let that be the case! If not, these could possibly be theeeeeeeeeee worst boots Nike has ever put it’s slick swoosh on. This is a massive Nike = FAIL moment.

As for CRon… dude, pack your glow sticks, tighty whiteys and leopard print boots and head for the Jersey Shore, there’s no doubt Mike ‘The Situation’ and his crew will be able to accommodate you there; or simply stay in Madrid, I only recently found out it was considered Europe’s gay capital… which actually explains a lot more than just these boots.

On a side note, why is Ronaldo going on Safari in October anyway? Wasn’t everyone else in Africa in June?… I know I was!

As we prepare for the second last round of the La Liga season, our friends at Heads or Tails claim that Real Madrid are Casillas, Cristiano Ronaldo and 9 other players… and given the Portuguese poster boy’s excellence against a second rate Mallorca, if Sevilla can do the job against Barcelona this weekend, Real might just be in with a sniff at the title. Things are still very alive at the top!

And here’s how he predicted the rest of ‘em.

Predictions:
Sporting Gijón 2 v 1 Atletico Madrid
Sevilla 2 v 1 FC Baracelona
Real Madrid 3 v 1 Athletic Bilbao
Villarreal 3 v 1 Valencia
Xerez 2 v 1 Zaragoza
Getafe 2 v 1 Malaga
Deportivo 1 v 1 Mallorca
Tenerife 2 v 1 Almeria
Valladolid 3 v 1 Racing Santander
Espanyol 1 v 1 Osasuna

Finally the big kahuna is here! The match that will almost certainly decide the winner of the 2009/10 La Liga season. Our amigos at Heads or Tails say it’s going to be a tough one to call. Sure both teams are kicking arse in their own respective ways with their own superstars, but how can you resist the form of Lionel Messi at the moment or even deny Manuel Pellegrini’s mistakes in big matches so far this season. Whatever the case, this match is set to be the showcase of the weekend so forget measly FA Cup semi-finals or even the rest of the matches taking place this weekend around the world… there is only one games this weekend!

Predictions:
Málaga 1 v 3 Sevilla
Osasuna 3 v 2 Zargoza
Athletic Bilbao 1 v 0 Almeria
Xerez 1 v 1 Getafe
Villarreal 2 v 1 Sporting Gijón
Espanyol 1 v 0 Atlético Madrid
Deportivo 1 v 0 Rácing Santander
Real Madrid 2 v 2 FC Barcelona
Tenerife 2 v 1 Real Valladolid
Mallorca 2 v 1 Valencia

This week the lads at Heads or Tail take a look back and discuss the hot subject of the week, brutality. While Valladolid’s use of force on Portuguese pin-up boy Cristiano Ronaldo has generally been condemned in the media, their coach Onesimo claims CRon is a provocative player who got his justs worth… I’m claiming that his slicked back hair and plucked eyebrows had more of a role to play in the inflicted malice but, that’s metrosexuality these days.
Never the less over on the other side of the country, we face a bag of challenges as it looks like the brutaliy dangerous Barcelona and Lionel Messi are hitting top form again and scoring at will… look out world even Thierry Henry has woken from his mid-season siesta and has started scoring again. Are Barca well on their way for more silverware!?

And this is how they picked the rest of ‘em.

Predictions:
Xerez 3 v 2 Tenerife
Deportivo La Coruña 1 v 1 Valladolid
Athletic Bilbao 2 v 1 Getafe
Real Madrid 3 v 1 Sporting Gijón
Espanyol 1 v 2 Sevilla
Osasuna 3 v 1 Racing Santander
Zaragoza 1 v 1 FC Barcelona
Mallorca 2 v 1 Atletico Madrid
Malaga 1 v 2 Villarreal
Valencia 2 v 1 Almería

It’s no wonder Sergio Ramos was so excited, overnight Los Blancos claimed a threesome of good fortunes.
1. They played some amazing high speed football to come from behind and win
2. They scored three well worked goals and
3. They leap frogged champions Barca to claim top spot in Spain.
I wonder if this was the turning point of the season and if Barca will have a response or if the two teams will just continue to maul every other team they come up against till they meet in the league and an out ‘n out winner is decided… whatever the case, we’re in for a mouth-watering run to the end of the season. You best believe that!

La acción in pictures:

Match highlights:

Short and sharp this week, our amigos at Heads or Tails were really impressed with the Cristiano Ronaldo show last week against Villarreal and this week they expect easy wins for the two Spanish giants… and this is how they picked the rest of them.

Predictions:
Sevilla 3 v 1 Athletic Bilbao
Atletico Madrid 1 v 1 Valencia
Getafe 2 v 1 Zaragoza 2-1
Racing Santander 1 v 1 Alemeria
Valladolid 3 v 1 Mallorca
Villarreal 3 v 2 Deportivo La Coruña
Tenerife 1 v 4 Real Madrid
Sporting Gijón 1 v 1 Osasuna
Xerez 2 v 1 Espanyol
FC Barcelona 3 v 1 Malaga

It was all part of Nike’s Write History campaign, but I can’t help but feel partly responsible for the Ultra-violet purple and orange colourway of the new Nike Mercurial Vapor Superfly II. You see, some time ago, I put together the PTP edition of the Nike Mercurial Vapor IV’s in a plum colourway and ever since that post, I’ve been inundated with requests of when they’re being released and where they’ll be available… well Nike were listening in and without saying too much more, I believe that they heard your requests and this is partially the result.

A new, unique adaptive traction system designed for explosive acceleration. The Mercurial Vapor Superfly II also includes a reengineered upper for enhanced fit and ball control for fast feet while Nike say the vibrant ultra-violet color boosts visibility on the pitch.” Source Footy-boots.com

I love ‘em and I can’t wait to get my hands on’em.

*UPDATE* Hi-res images of the Nike Mercurial Superfly II launch have now been uploaded

Older Nike Mercurial news:
CR (No 9) At The Double – Olympique Marseille 1 v 3 Real Madrid
Lace Up, Save Lives – Designed to fight AIDS in Africa
Out Of Nowhere! Real Madrid 2 v 3 AC MIlan
Ronaldo In Nike Superfly – Black / Voltage Yellow
Freedom ‘Flys – Clint Dempsey – And his Nike Mercurial Supeflys
Rumour Mill – New Mercurial Superfly Colourway!

…was it!?

I mean no disrespect to Lyon for their achievement, but when one of the most expensive teams in the world strolls over to your neck of the woods like a big bad wolf, unless you’re a big bad wolf yourself, you’re not likely to flip them a one fingered salute and claim your turf. Instead you’re going to carefully plan your attacks and when they least expect it get Little Red Riding Hood on their asses… and voilà that’s exactly what the former French champions did!

Match highlights:

Last night FIFA held yet another ceremony and handed out a couple of trophies to confirm what most people around the world already knew… Lionel Messi is FIFA’s World Player Of The Year.
After a stellar year filled with over sized silverware, accolades and praise the only thing eluding the young striker now is the highly sought after Holy Grail of world football, the World Cup. At the moment, the only thing I can think of that stands in between Messi’s ambition to win the tournament next year and sporting immortality is a jolly fat man who wears capes and curses the press… that’s right, Maradona may be the sole reason Lionel doesn’t get hold of that jewel next summer, but that’s ok for the moment cause he already has a dozen others to hold. Sharing is caring Lio, clearly you don’t care for me anymore. It’s always about you isn’t it!?

Images from the gala and trophy presentations:

This is how the voting ended:

Cristiano Ronaldo was back to his menacing best last night against Marseille and much like a fly buzzing around your head while you tryAnd typ3 a p0st… oh, would you just F*** OFF!… he annoyed the shit out of the French defence and added two more to his ever growing sack’o'goals at Madrid.
On another note and I don’t mean to get all ‘Twilight Zone-y’ here, but did anyone notice the 9 missing from the CR on C-Ron’s boots? Is it something to be suss about? Could he be awaiting the retirement of Raul so as to claim the number 7 jersey or was it as simple as Nike ran out of stitching to add to his boots?
Dig deep enough and I reckon you may just answer the question of why Los Blancos tops were blank of any sponsorship too. Can anyone say, recession!?

Feel free to comment below or simply enjoy the match action in these images:

Match highlights:

Cristiano Ronaldo is back in the thick of the action at Real Madrid again and to tell you the truth, I’m a little over his hype at the moment. Sure millions of señoritas and gays el-poopas would mount him like dogs on heat if they had the chance and sure his tan could pass him off as an oompa loompa, but I really ain’t impressed anymore… wanna impress me? Score a goal then run to the corner with your top off and not get a yellow card or top the group in next years World Cup finals and shine as a big game player! Then we’re talking!

If a picture tells a million stories, here are 6… pictures, not 6 million stories:

Match highlights:

You start the match on the bench, patiently watching, waiting for the coach to turn around and call your name so that you get your 15min of glory in the legend that is an ‘El Clasico’. When he finally does, you wait anxiously on the touch line, only to look away from the player you’re replacing as he runs at you and wishes you luck. You run straight to your position and get stuck in straight away. A touch here, a tackle there… a mere 5 minutes later and the ball has been crossed to you from the right, as you wait for it to find you running to the back post, you ponder “should I tap it in with poise and style or slam the balls off of the fucker!?”…
There has to be some level of satisfaction when you score a goal like that in one of the games of the season, while the whole world is watching! I mean, I still get a buzz when I sit at the front of the bus on my way home from ‘Nymphos Anonymous’ and play pocket pool! Sure it’s a little annoying at first cause everyone sits there watching in disgust, but when I finally RISE to the occasion, then its on like Donkey Kong, so I could only image what it’s like to get your thrills in front of 90,000 adoring spectators! Aww shit!

The plethora of stars in action:

Match highlights:

Portuguese man-o-sex Cristiano Ronaldo made his long awaited return to the Real Madrid team last night, which is quite exciting given the biggest match of the Spanish calendar, the ‘El Classico’, takes place this weekend. And even though he didn’t really contribute much in this game and won’t be match fit for the weekend, it’ll still be awesome to see the plethora of stars these teams have to offer, kicking the shit out of each other in a bid to keep their respective teams first on the ladder. What this has to do with last nights Champions league match, I’ll never know, but below are the highlights and pics for you to enjoy… you big party pooper!

Match highlights:

Is it just me or are Real Madrid really missing the presence of their tanned, Portuguese, man-o-sex Ronaldo? Sure their overly excited old fellas are scoring goals, but at the same time the team looks like it’s just scraping through simple matches and if it wasn’t for two goals by Higuain last night, coach Pellegrini would be on the next flight off this planet. And not to say that they’re under pressure, but the go to Italy to take on AC mid week… Ha! Good luck, we all know how that went last time!

On another note and instead of playing football, Ronaldo’s been too busy eying off the individual competition. Reuters:

The Castrol Rankings is a system that claims to definitively rate the world’s best soccer players, using technology that objectively analyses and ranks their performance.

So let me get this straight, if Henry is ranked 1st and Eto’o is ranked 6th… where does Ronaldo fit in in all this? Does he fit at all? How did Henry beat Messi to no.1? And finally, how did Pique even make the cut!?
Questions, questions… feel free to answer then if you liKe.

Match highlights:

Older Real Madrid news:
Out Of Nowhere! Real Madrid 2 v 3 AC MIlan
Predictions – UCL – Matchday 3
Madrid’s Old Fella Fires! Real Madrid 4 v 2 Valladolid
Predictions – UCL – Matchday 2

Overall, an average weekend of predictions in Spain. Once again Atlético failed to win… meh, whatever, it was the other team from Madrid that caught my eye. Real Madrid looked very cohesive in their 3-0 win over Espanyol and given that the team hasn’t been together all that long, it looks like they may achieve the goals they’ve set out to this year. Can’t wait to see them against a stronger team though!

Gameweek score:
5 out of 10

Results:
Atlético Madrid 1 v 1 Racing Santander
Espanyol 0 v 3 Real Madrid
Xerez 0 v 1 Athletic Bilbao
Deportivo La Coruña 1 v 0 Málaga
Sporting Gijón 1 v 0 Almería
Villarreal 1 v 1 Mallorca
Sevilla 4 v 1 Zaragoza
Tenerife 2 v 1 Osasuna
Valladolid 2 v 4 Valencia
Getafe 0 v 2 Barcelona

Match highlights – Espanyol 0 v 3 Real Madrid:

For more reviews of this weekends La Liga action visit Heads or Tails.