Part-time Pundit » England

Beckham Grows Mutton

parttimepundit — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 06:52:14 +0000

Mutton chops, may just be the best thing to happen to the side of the head since ears and you know that if Becks is sporting them sooner or later, gay and straight men the world over will be running around with “designer” forests growing off their faces… just wait till you see see my lame attempt!
What you probably won’t see them [straight men] wearing though are these hideous Silver / Gold Predator Absolado TRX FG DB J thingamabobs that Becks decided to wear against Belarus last night. He may have assisted in a goal and had a half-descent hit out against a lower class opponent, but his choice of boots were questionable… if it wasn’t for his facial hair, I’d be summoning my pack of robot attack dogs to LA with strict orders to find the boots and for the good of all man kind (queers included) chew them to bits!

Match highlights:
9 out of 10 aint all that bad heading to the World Cup… I wonder how they’ll fair against real opposition though.

Older David Beckham news:
Beck In The Good Books – LA Galaxy 1 v 2 Barcelona
Yep, They Were The Actual Kits… England 4 v 0 Slovakia
Hey Galaxy, screw you! Beckham at Milan till end of season
International Friendly – Spain 2 v 0 England

Payback, 5 Times As Nice!

parttimepundit — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:39:05 +0000

Overnight England qualified for next years World Cup in South Africa by emphatically pounding Croatia and once again getting revenge on their loss a couple years ago. Congrats to the lads, but I ain’t a believer yet, no I ain’t surprised. England have in fact had the easiest qualifying group of the European campaign with teams like Belarus, Kazakhstan, Ukraine and Andorra to contest, I would have been shocked, mortified even if they didn’t qualify in first. Realistically, it was always only ever going to be between England and Croatia.
Anyway, what surprised me more than last nights scoreline was that this was the first time ‘The Three Lions’ actually played like a team full of filthy rich superstars should, instead of a bunch of incoherent retards like in other matches. I guess one can only imagine the size of the load ‘Engerland’ fans world wide would have shot at the TV when Gerrard, Lampard and Rooney added the killer blows and secured their spot in next years finals!… it kind gives a new meaning to the term Liquid Crystal Display, doesn’t it!?

Goal highlights:

Older England news:
Yep, They Were The Actual Kits… England 4 v 0 Slovakia
International Friendly – Spain 2 v 0 England
Review – Belarus 1 v 3 England
Review – Croatia 1 v 4 England

Yep, They Were The Actual Kits…

parttimepundit — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 11:54:00 +0000

I’m not really a fan of international breaks, especially during the few days leading up to them; I mean there’s only so many ways to retell the same ‘ol story, so I’ll tell you what really boils my blood instead. Being sold a heap of self-righteous hype by a so-called kit “designer”… oh and on that note, England’s new all-white playing kit!
Just last week we were “teased” by a set of videos, about the amount of research that had gone into the new look England kit being based on history and tradition, etc; and how this design is meant to be classical whilst still modern… um, somebody help me out here, cause I just don’t see it!
To me it looks like all they really had to think about was what font they were going to use for the names and numbers on the back and what stain remover would best get rid of the massive grass marks added by a player who’s has just slid 10 meters up the touchline to save the ball from rolling out!
I will admit however that Becks does look smart in his kit… but then again he’d look good in just about anything Victoria owns too… so that really doesn’t count does it. Oh and happy 109th cap Beck’s… keep on keepin’ on.

Match highlights:

Older England news:
Links that don’t suck as much as the new England Kit
International Friendly – Spain 2 v 0 England
Review – Belarus 1 v 3 England
Review – Croatia 1 v 4 England

Links that don’t suck…

parttimepundit — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 03:20:00 +0000

If this really is England’s new kit, then consider me the next kit designer for Umbro or the new King of Football kit designs… and I’ve never designed anything in fabric! [EPL Talk]

New kit teaser:

In true Australian fashion, Ben Buckley should tell the other Asian nations competing for the 2018 & 2022 World Cups to bugger off!… It’s Australia’s turn! [The World Game]

Robin van Persie and his fellow Gunners are feeling invincible at the moment; like they can win every game remaining in the season kind-of-invincible! I reckon they have a chance but they still have to come up against the likes of Liverpool[A], Chelsea[H] and Man Utd[A]… so their chances, if any, are very slim! [The Spoiler]

Steven Gerrard laughs off claims that he’s the best in the world… but after his performances of late (Madrid, Man Utd and Villa), there’s little denying that he is the man of the moment! [Tribal Football]

With a new A-League team licence expected to be granted any day now, the head of team ‘Melbourne Heart’, Peter Sidwell, has Mark Viduka at the top of his wish list… Pfft, tell him he’s dreamin’. [Herald Sun]

International Friendly – Spain 2 v 0 England

parttimepundit — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 02:01:00 +0000

Shhh… listen carefully… can you hear that? No, I didn’t think so… that’s the sound the England fans made at the Estadio Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan in Seville last night after a dissapointing match by the visitors. Leading up to the game, both teams were in form with Eng-err-land unbeaten in 5 and España unbeaten in 28… now 29, but that changed over the course of the 90 minutes and Spain dominated with large spells of possession and with some very crisp passing.
However, as disappointing as it was for England to lose, Beck’s still managed a substitutes role, and a crisp pass of his own at the death, while also to bagging his 108th cap for the Three-Lions, which I must admit is a fine achievement no matter who you are… I guess now all that remains is to find 108 matching outfits for David to wear with his ‘caps’… but given the wardrobe this guy has, something tells me it shouldn’t be too hard to do.

Match highlights:

Review – Belarus 1 v 3 England

parttimepundit — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 10:05:00 +0000

Gerrard scored a trademark long-range thump the way only Gerrard can and then he undid all that hard work and almost killed himself trying to do a trademark knee slide to the sideline…haha douche-bag! I think he hurt himself slightly too. Spot the look of anguish on his face after he’s mobbed by the rest of the team. Things then got shaky for England till Wayne “The Thing” Rooney, popped up and scored a brace. Lucky England.
So that makes it 4 from 4 and the team is finally living up to it’s primadonna status. What I want to know though is who decided the teams that they’d be playing against in this qualification group. They’re up against some “quality” opposition the likes of Andorra, Kazakhstan, Belarus and Ukrain and this must be the easiest group they’ve had in some years (Euro qualifiers included). If they can’t top this group or God forbid qualify for the World Cup, the whole team, from Capello all the way down to the half time orange peelers, should be dressed in drag, have their knee caps bashed in and then kicked out onto the streets of England to be dealt with by the angry mobs who won’t get to watch them in South Africa… you know, just to save on the heartbreak of not making another major tournament.

Match highlights:

Review – Croatia 1 v 4 England

parttimepundit — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 02:17:00 +0000

Finally, the world’s biggest underachievers stepped up and gave their delusional fans something to actually cheer about. Forget the victory over Andorra at the weekend, a win over Croatia was worth more than just 3 points… it was like payback for their Euro qualifier defeat at Wembley last year… well almost. It was more like watching a Croat give it to your ex-missus all summer on a beautiful beach, while you only managed a disco pash with his sister… that’s the kind’a satisfaction England must be feeling right now.

Match highlights:

Other sources:
Walcott bags hattrick in England win
Walcott Hat Trick Stuns Croatia
Walcott shines in England romp

David Beckham: The Centurion!

parttimepundit — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:51:00 +0000

David Beckham remains determined to go on beyond his century after winning his 100th England cap in the 1-0 defeat to France in Paris. Beckham started the match on the right side of midfield and put in some trademark crosses before he was replaced by David Bentley in the second half and came off to a standing ovation. Franck Ribery scored the only goal of the game from the penalty spot in the first half after Nicolas Anelka had been felled by David James.

“I’m very honoured,” said Beckham. “Straight from when I started playing for England I never dreamed I’d get 100 caps, and hopefully beyond.

Before the game, ardent football boot watchers may have felt deflated, Beckham was warming up at the Stade de France in white PowerSwerve football boots with gold trim – his run of the mill football boots from the DB collection.

But cometh the hour, cometh the photo opportunity!

Beckham certainly didn’t let us down, coming out for the match sporting an embroidered shirt with 100th cap on the chest and yes, sporting a pristine pair of Gold Boots. Golden boots for GoldenBalls.
Source: [Footy-Boots.com]

Euro 2008 – Qualifiers

parttimepundit — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 21:02:00 +0000

While Europe prepares itself for winter, the Euro 2008 Qualifiers are just starting to heat up! With a host of matches being played tonight, there are three that have caught my eye for their significance to the qualification into next years finals.

Russia v England
The political debacles started weeks ago when the two teams met at Wembley Stadium. England won that affair 3-0 and if they win tonight they would’ve secured their spot in next years finals. With a draw, Russia will still have a mathematical chance, but if they win, then they’ll really be putting the pressure on England. Just to frustrate th English even more, Russia have chosen to play the match on UEFA approved synthetic turf… ah Guus and his mind games. Just brilliant!
I predict Russia to win 2-1.

Turkey v Greece
The Turks haven’t been playing well at all recently, winning only 1 of their last 5 matches, but they are claiming that they’ll put up a fight in front of a packed Ali Sami Yen stadium in Istanbul. Greece on the other hand are in the driving seat and are putting all the pressure back on the Turks by saying that they need a result more. Last time they met, 2 goalkeeping errors by George Clooney look-a-like Antonios Nikopolidis cost Greece the match. Greece have since turned things around, but look out, cause this will be a hostile affair!
I predict a 1-1 draw.

France v Lithuania
France are 1 point behind Italy and 2 points behind Scotland who play against each other next month in what will be a crucial round. France need to win to keep their chances alive but Lithuanian coach Algimantas Liubinskas has warned them not to take the game too lightly, cause they’ll be out to make things difficult for the cheese eating surrender monkeys.
I predict France to win 3-1. And that Thierry will score.

Classic Roos – 2003

parttimepundit — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 12:54:00 +0000

I was scouring the cesspool that is YouTube and found this classic: The ol’ foe v Australia… Gotta love the hairstyles of a bygone era! And to think it was only 4 years ago. Enjoy!

Hard fought win for England.

parttimepundit — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 06:59:00 +0000

It took England 54 minutes to score a goal against minnows Andorra in their Group E qualifying match yesterday.
The team was jeered off the park at half time after an uninspiring 45min and then Gerrard gave the crowd something to cheer about. He volleyed the ball into the net from a pass by Rooney on the edge of the box. England then added a second goal to calm the nerves of the visiting side. Gerrard the scorer once more, flicked the ball around Genís García before Jermain Defoe provided a deft touch back into the midfielder’s path and he did the rest with style, stroking the ball right-footed past home goalkeeper, Koldo Alvarez. The third was conciliation as Andorra’s keeper spilled Defoe’s shot into the path of debutant David Nugent (Preston North End FC).

Under normal circumstances, a 3-0 win over any team would be welcomed by the fans. Not the English though. There were call’s to bring back Beckham and once again McClaren has come under scrutiny because of England’s lack-luster performance. I think its time for McClaren to go and the FA should be looking to bring in a foreign coach with a sense of playing football… not bosh-ball!

Heads set to role in England.

parttimepundit — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 00:10:00 +0000

Steve McClaren has come out of the game against Israel saying that changes will be made to the team because it’s not performing. England has now gone five games without a win in which they’ve only scored one goal.
Just a hunch, but could it be their style of play, or lack there of!?
They’re up against Andorra on Thursday(AEST) and its a game they’re expected to win… by a big margin for that matter. Last time the two teams met, England won 5-0, so failure to get a result there will probably mean that Steve’s head will roll.
Players like Rooney, Gerrard, Lampard should all be expected to score… and by all means i can’t believe they haven’t bagged more. They’re all performing relatively well for their respective clubs, why shouldn’t their form be the same for these Qualifying matches?
I reckon that its the style of play that McClaren is enforcing on the team. It seems as though they are dominating possession all around the park, but then they’re breaking down as they get to the forward line. They keep pumping balls from deep in the midfield to the strikers and quite frankly, the results speak for themselves.
Maybe its time for a new coach before it gets too late, cause when they come up against the likes of Russia (coached by Gus Hiddink) and Croatia (a strong ball playing team) again, they won’t want to be dropping points.