Part-time Pundit » Eto’o http://www.part-timepundit.com Part-time Pundit. Pundit. Predictionist. Raving lunatic... Sun, 06 Feb 2011 07:34:30 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 Predictions – UCL – Round of 16 http://www.part-timepundit.com/2010/03/predictions-ucl-round-of-16-2nd-leg-16th-mar.html http://www.part-timepundit.com/2010/03/predictions-ucl-round-of-16-2nd-leg-16th-mar.html#comments Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:54:11 +0000 parttimepundit http://www.part-timepundit.com/?p=2861 Getty Images - Inter Milan's Portuguese coach Jose Mourinho gives a press conference at Stanford bridge Stadium on March 15, 2010, ahead of their UEFA Champions League football match against Chelsea FC on March 16, 2010.

Man I can’t wait for the ‘Special One’s’ Inter to waltz into Stamford Bridge tonight and walk into the next round of the Champions League… is it going to happen though, I’m actually not so sure and this is what I love about the UCL. So many unknowns, so many variables, so many theories. It’s a decision I’ve been battling all week and even though both teams have experienced slight dips in form of late, both are still very capable of pulling a result out of thin air. Therefore for the first time in PTP history, I’m going to leave this match open to opinion. I know it will go to extra time, but then anything is capable from there. And as for the other match of the night… what match!? There is only one of interest!

I predict:
Chelsea 2 v 1 Internazionale [With anything to happen in extra time!]
Sevilla 1 v 0 CSKA Moskva

Predictions - UCL - Round of 16 Predictions - UCL - Round of 16 Predictions - UCL - Round of 16 Predictions - UCL - Round of 16 Predictions - UCL - Round of 16 Predictions - UCL - Round of 16 Predictions - UCL - Round of 16 Predictions - UCL - Round of 16

]]> http://www.part-timepundit.com/2010/03/predictions-ucl-round-of-16-2nd-leg-16th-mar.html/feed 0 Pharoahs Shoot Down Lions http://www.part-timepundit.com/2010/01/pharoahs-shoot-down-lions-egypt-3-v-1-cameroon.html http://www.part-timepundit.com/2010/01/pharoahs-shoot-down-lions-egypt-3-v-1-cameroon.html#comments Tue, 26 Jan 2010 09:12:43 +0000 parttimepundit http://www.part-timepundit.com/?p=2547 Samuel Eto'o of Cameroon reacts after his team loses their African Nations Cup quarter-final soccer match against Egypt at the Ombaka National Stadium in Benguela January 25, 2010.

I’ve been avoiding the African’s Cup of Nations this year like a bushman would a fallen Coke bottle and I promise it’s got nothing to do with all the weird hairdo’s kicking about the tournament or the fact that every player in a tight Puma top scares the bejesus out of me. Quite simply I just haven’t been able to get my mojo on watching the ACN… reckon there’s a pill I could take for it, or anything to get me stacked like some of the players for that matter?

And as if Ivory Coast’s untimely defeat wasn’t enough, last night another African powerhouse, Cameroon fell prematurely too… damn, I don’t even think a pill will help me now!

Match highlights – Egypt 3 v 1 Cameroon:

And from a couple days ago match highlights – Ivory Coast 2 v 3 Algeria:

]]> http://www.part-timepundit.com/2010/01/pharoahs-shoot-down-lions-egypt-3-v-1-cameroon.html/feed 0 Stale Inter Frustrate Barca http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/09/stale-inter-frustrate-barca-inter-0-v-0-barca.html http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/09/stale-inter-frustrate-barca-inter-0-v-0-barca.html#comments Thu, 17 Sep 2009 05:25:52 +0000 parttimepundit http://www.part-timepundit.com/?p=1142 Ibrahimovic enjoyed much supply up front, but wasn't as lucky in his attempts at goal

Ever wondered what it would be like to play against Barca? Here’s an idea, jump on a freeway and try catch and the next car as it speeds on by… well go on, I’ll wait.

I’m still waiting!

What, you couldn’t even get close? Don’t worry, neither could Eto’o or the rest of Inter’s attack for that matter. And while they looked comfortable throughout the first half, the second half was a different story. Messi arose from first half obscurity and started linking with everyone to create chances and I did expect at least one goal in the match but Barca were trying to be a little too clever in their attempts at trying to get around the bus Inter had parked in front of their goal. The return leg will deliver plenty more goals… you best believe that.

Match highlights:

Older Internazionale news:
Ibra Almost A Blaugrana… Still A Douche!
Two easy – Manchester United 2 v 0 Inter
Advantage Inter? Hardly! Inter 0 v 0 Manchester United
Review – Derby della Madonnina – Internazionale 2 v 1 AC Milan

]]> http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/09/stale-inter-frustrate-barca-inter-0-v-0-barca.html/feed 0 Predictions – Matchday 1 http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/09/predictions-champions-league-matchday-1-wednesday.html http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/09/predictions-champions-league-matchday-1-wednesday.html#comments Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:26:07 +0000 parttimepundit http://www.part-timepundit.com/?p=1139 Ibra and Eto'o are up against their former teams tonight. Will there be any Adebayor type shenanigans... I doubt it

Tonight sees the return of two great strikers at their old stomping grounds and I can’t wait to see Zlatan and Eto’o show their old coaches and fans, that life really is greener. I doubt we’ll see any Adebayor type tactics on their ex-players, however Zlatan has been know to be a bit of a douche in the past, so I won’t put it past him. Regardless, it’ll be a kick-ass match… and here’s how I picked the rest of ‘em.

I predict:
Liverpool FC 3 v 0 Debreceni VSC
Olympique Lyonnais 1 v 1 ACF Fiorentina
FC Internazionale Milano 0 v 1 FC Barcelona
FC Dynamo Kyiv 2 v 0 FC Rubin Kazan
VfB Stuttgart 1 v 1 Rangers FC
Sevilla FC 2 v 0 FC Unirea Urziceni
Olympiacos FC 1 v 1 AZ Alkmaar
R. Standard de Liège 1 v 3 Arsenal FC

]]> http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/09/predictions-champions-league-matchday-1-wednesday.html/feed 0 Ibra Almost A Blaugrana… http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/07/ibra-almost-blaugrana-still-douche.html http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/07/ibra-almost-blaugrana-still-douche.html#comments Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:22:00 +0000 parttimepundit http://part-timepundit.com/2009/07/ibra-almost-a-blaugrana-still-a-douche.html Not even a pint-sized fan could get the attention of Zlatan's Zuper-sized ego! Good luck Pep
If late night media reports are to be believed, as I type this Samuel Eto’o is most likely being relieved of his post at the Camp Nou and being replaced by none other than that long haired half-bred douche… Zlatan ‘F**k Im Good’ Ibrahimovic!
The only thing that remains is for the club to reach an agreement with the player. The two parties are negotiating the conditions, just as we are with Ibrahimovic… In any case, whether or not Eto’o stays or goes, Ibrahimovic will be coming to Barcelona.” - Joan Laporta

Shiiiit, if it’s one player I hate almost as much as that arrogant frog Nicolas Anelka, it has to be this guy and if this proposed “swap” deal goes through, it’s going to be interesting to see how the humble souls in Catalonia handle the big fat asteroid sized ego heading straight for their city! They should get ready to call in Bruce, Billy Bob and Ben… Pep’s gonna need all the asteroid shootin’ experience he can get!

Goal highlights:
Ok, so I hate his attitude, head, hair and pissy tats… but you can’t deny he’s one of the greatest strikers in the world at the moment!

Older Zlatan Ibrahimovic news:
Weekend watch: Nike Mercurial Vapor Superfly
Two easy – Manchester United 2 v 0 Inter
Advantage Inter? Hardly! Inter 0 v 0 Manchester United

]]> http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/07/ibra-almost-blaugrana-still-douche.html/feed 1 Take It Away Barca! http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/05/take-it-away-barca-barcelona-2-v-0.html http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/05/take-it-away-barca-barcelona-2-v-0.html#comments Sat, 30 May 2009 11:02:00 +0000 parttimepundit http://part-timepundit.com/2009/05/take-it-away-barca-barcelona-2-v-0-manchester-united.html FC Barcelona crowned Champions of Europe!

Ok, so Thursday and Friday still feel like a blur and well today, all that’s left is the smell of two day old vomit in a bucket and pictures to remind me of the mess Manchester United made of the UEFA Champions League final. By now though, you’ve probably seen and read just about every report in the world analysing the match so I’m going to take it from another angle. Check it. In a match completely dominated by Nike sponsorship deals, the two goal scorers actually came from sponsors of their direct competitors…

Samuel Eto'o scored the opening goal with his gold Puma v1.08's
Samuel Eto’o in his gold Puma v1.08’s

Messi capping off Barca's night with a rare headed goal
and Lionel Messi in this Adidas Tunit F50i’s.
What, no Nike heros? Oh, how’s that for a slap in the face?

Match highlights:

Older FC Barcelona news:
Prediction: UEFA Champions League Final – Barcelona v Manchester United
Can You Feel The Buzz!?
Results – La Liga – 16th / 17th May
One Down, Two To Go – Copa del Rey Final – FC Barcelona 4 v 1 Atletico Bilbao
Conspiracy And Controversy At The Bridge! Chelsea 1 v 1 Barcelona


Soccer.com

]]> http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/05/take-it-away-barca-barcelona-2-v-0.html/feed 2 Munchen Get Shpoonkten! Ax Ya! http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/04/munchen-get-shpoonkten-ax-ya-barcelona.html http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/04/munchen-get-shpoonkten-ax-ya-barcelona.html#comments Thu, 09 Apr 2009 12:47:00 +0000 parttimepundit http://part-timepundit.com/2009/04/munchen-get-shpoonkten-ax-ya-barcelona-4-v-0-bayern.html Henry celebrates after setting up Messi for his second against Bayern

I’ve never been spanked before, nor have I ever wished too, so I’m assuming* that it would be less painful than playing against Barcelona and their extraordinary attacking prowess at the Camp Nou… especially when they’re really in the mood to kick your ass! So I think it’s safe to say that even if Bayern bring on dildo slinging nympho mutants from out space for the next leg in Germany, the best they’ll get is use of their own safe word to help them out of another shpoonking! Now repeat after me “Fluggen-kliggin-kien!” and you’ll enjoy a happy ending!

*assumptions are based on years of watching amateur B-grade and home-made porn, hence it is a safe assumption

Match highlights:

Older Barcelona news:

Results – La Liga – 4th / 5th April

Barca make light work of Malaga – Barcelona 6 v 0 Malaga

All aboard! Barcelona 5 v 2 Lyon



]]> http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/04/munchen-get-shpoonkten-ax-ya-barcelona.html/feed 3 Results – 4th / 5th April http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/04/results-la-liga-4th-5th-april.html http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/04/results-la-liga-4th-5th-april.html#comments Mon, 06 Apr 2009 02:49:00 +0000 parttimepundit http://part-timepundit.com/2009/04/results-la-liga-4th-5th-april.html Eto'o's pleasant doink over the advancing Valladolid keeper was enough to give Barcelona all three points
This was a good week of predictions in the La Liga and even with some tricky matches a score of 7 was very pleasant… almost as pleasant as Eto’o's doink over the advancing Valladolid keeper, which won them the match. Ole!

Gameweek score:
7 out of 10… Ole!

Results:
Almería 3 v 0 Villarreal
Athletic Bilbao 2 v 1 Mallorca
Real Betis 3 v 3 Numancia
Recreativo Huelva 0 v 1 Sevilla
Valladolid 0 v 1 Barcelona
Malaga 0 v 1 Real Madrid
Atlético Madrid 2 v 4 Osasuna
Espanyol 3 v 1 Deportivo la Coruña
Valencia 4 v 1 Getafe
Sporting Gijon 0 v 2 Racing Santander

Valladolid 0 v 1 Barcelona – Match highlights:

For more reviews of this weekends La Liga action visit Heads or Tails.

]]> http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/04/results-la-liga-4th-5th-april.html/feed 1 All aboard! http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/03/all-aboard-barcelona-5-v-2-lyon.html http://www.part-timepundit.com/2009/03/all-aboard-barcelona-5-v-2-lyon.html#comments Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:29:00 +0000 parttimepundit http://part-timepundit.com/2009/03/all-aboard-barcelona-5-v-2-lyon.html Thierry Henry and Samuel Eto'o salute their fans. Inset: Henry calls Robocop with his wrist phone after scoring a brace against Lyon
Given that in the first match Lyon were unlucky not to come away with the win, I was actually quite amazed at how easily Barcelona carved through them like a slab of fluorescent-yellow French butter that had been left on the kitchen bench all night long. I was also amazed at how Pep Guardiola kept some tricks up his sleeve and that he wasn’t tempted to pull them out… for instance, I heard Robocop was on standby just in case Henry, Eto’o and Messi weren’t an effective enough strike force, but then once Henry scored his brace and reassured the citizens of Barcelona that they would be ensured a safe passage to the next round of the competition he used his embedded wrist-phone to call off any assistance by Robocop… don’t believe me? Watch the replays below and you’ll see it for yourself!

Last fortnights match review

Match highlights:

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