Tuesday matches
AaB 0 v 2 Man. United
Arsenal 3 v 1 Porto
BATE 1 v 2 Juventus
Bayern 1 v 1 Lyon
Fenerbahçe 2 v 0 Dynamo Kyiv
Fiorentina 3 v 0 FC Steaua Bucureşti
Villarreal 2 v 1 Celtic
Zenit 1 v 1 Real Madrid
Wednesday matches
Anorthosis 0 v 1 Panathinaikos
Atlético 2 v 1 Marseille
Bordeaux 1 v 3 Roma
CFR 0 v 3 Chelsea
Internazionale 2 v 0 Bremen
Liverpool 3 v 1 PSV
Shakhtar 0 v 2 Barcelona
Sporting 1 v 1 Basel
It was a fiery encounter which saw Inter lose its first match of the season and Milan get back to winning ways. We also saw Kaka, Ronnie and Pato link up on several occasions and most notably for the goal... and what a way to score your first goal mind you! Anyway, I especially liked the way the Milan forwards turned Inter's defense inside-out on the counter, oh and the part when Carlo Ancelotti goes to shake Jose Mourinho's hand after the match, but "The Special one" doesn't want a bar of it... special!
Match highlights:
This match didn't really interest me much, but I'm throwing it in cause I stated here last week that it would be interesting to see how long City would be able keep up the blistering momentum which destroyed Portsmouth. Turns out what ever was burning, fizzled out or whatever was being handed out, dried up... anyway that leaves their unbeaten streak at whopping 1 - win in a row!?. At least we now know it's not going to be a hard streak to beat!
Match highlights:
Older City news:
Review - Machester City 6 v 0 Portsmouth
Review - Machester City 1 v 3 Chelsea
Hot Air Everywhere!
Uh oh! Cristiano's back! WARNING: Defenders stay on your feet inside the box.
Ronaldo and Rooney opened their accounts on the weekend, while new boy Berbatov is still queuing up and Tevez, well he's been as menacing as ever. Wow... that's some strike force! Almost as good as the Fantastic Four, only without the chick... but that's cool, Ronaldo can take her place. He's pretty and has been invisible lately. Oh, and extra points if you can guess who 'The Thing' is!
Match highlights:
United older news:
Review - Chelsea 1 v 1 Machester United
Prediction - Chelsea v Manchester United
Champions League - Matchday 1 Review cont...
Hot Air Everywhere!
For the first time ever in history, Hull City (The Tigers) defeated Arsenal (The Gunners) and kept their blistering unbeaten away form intact. For only the second time ever in history Arsenal were beaten at the Emirates... and for only the third time ever in history I pulled 2 blondes and a brunette last night... which clearly makes me the victor of this historic battle hunt. Score: 3 on 1! But to kill the buzz, I almost lost a testicle this morning when I awoke, so I close with a word of warning to Arsenal and those awakening to a bj... always have your gun drawn when faced by a wild beast... you’ll either get double the pleasure or twice the pain!
Match highlights:
Gunners older news:
Young Guns Blow Blades Apart! Sheffield United 0 v 6 Arsenal
UEFA Champions League - Matchday 1
Review - Croatia 1 v 4 England
Arsenal v Liverpool - Episode 2
The defensive nightmare continued for Portsmouth, the league's new whipping boys, as they were hit for 4 more last night. For those who lost count, that's 10 in 2! This is getting ridiculous now like when you forget the safe word at club Vandersexxx and they start administering the testicle clamps... you huff and puff in the hope the agony will end and the only thing u manage to yelp under your breath is HELP ME! You want it to stop right now, but the dildo’s have just been pulled out and you’re in for one looooooong night. Now repeat after me "Fluggen-kliggin-kien!" and you’ll enjoy a happy ending!
Match highlights:
Just when you thought it was safe to play football against a group of teenagers, Arsene Wenger releases his own personal experiment onto the field like a pack of wolves who haven't eaten in months... hunting for the flesh of Red and White Wizards. Single handedly picked and pieced together from all reaches of the globe, some described this team as the footballing equivalent of the Harlem Globetrotters' youth side and no magic or wizardry could have helped United from this onslaught. I'm really excited by the prospect of the young Gunners and the havoc they will unleash on European football fields in the years to come. Awooooh-ooo-ooo-awooooh!
Match highlights:
6 well worked goals by 6 different scorers... whatever Manchester City’s on... I think they should give some to Tottenham (who again failed to impress or even get 3 points).
Surely it must be the 'Robinho' effect or the arrival of the new gazillionare owners. Since buying the club everything has seemed to gell at the club and morale is certainly high within their camp. Either Mark Hughes learnt how to coach over night or there's some hefty powders bonuses being thrown around the kit rooms before the match... how else would you justify talk of bringing Ronaldo to City, anyway whatever it is, I'm defiantly keeping track of how long this run will last.
This is week 1!
Match highlights:
Older City news:
Review - Machester City 1 v 3 Chelsea
Hot Air Everywhere!
Transfer Window - Closed!
So it appears that the vast majority of commentators and pundit's alike, present company included, underestimated the abilities of Manchester United even though their performances over the last month have been lackluster. Contrary to everyone's guesses, Sir Ferg chose to start the match with caution and to try and eliminate the threat of Bosingwa and Cole down the flanks so that Chelsea would have to play through the middle… Clever, cause the blues weren't expecting it. It was a high paced, high tempered match and one worthy of a draw... even though both sides could have pinched it had their finishing been clinical. Namely Anelka who’s miss from 4 yards out just isn't excusable. Seriously, I've never liked him as a player because of his inability to finish simple chances. He'll score the hard ones occasionally but miss the one's being passed around on a silver platter... just tap it in you knob... tap, tap tap-a-roo!
Match highlights:
The shit-slinging match began a week ago after Terry’s sending off against City and at last count Chelsea were leading that battle approx. 5-2 with United’s only real hope in the match being the return of Siegfried & Roy… oops I mean Berbatov and Ronaldo.
It's a must-win game for them, but a good time for us to be facing them in the form we are in. They certainly can’t afford to lose this one and allow us to open up a substantial lead on them even at this early stage.” John Terry
What do you get when you miss dozens of chances in front of goal, strike the wood work on several separate occasions, have a penalty saved by the trailing foot of the goal keeper and the sending off of a defender who was nowhere near the foul committed!? Well you wouldn’t be too far off if you guessed the Benny Hill show... although some might argue that it was two highly strung matches in Group E of the Champions League... minus that crazy music, double speed running and odd flash of a las’ derriere of course.
And so much for comeback’s! After Britney messed hers up at the VMA’s recently, the path was all clear for C. Ronaldo to shine but not even he could inspire Man U to score a goal. Still early days but much work needs to be done... especially on comebacks.
Speaking of comebacks, Lyon must have read the right page. I expected a colourful showing by both teams in the match between Lyon and Fiorentina... but I didn’t think it’d be this colourful! As I write I’m experiencing weird body sensations and slight convulsions and I don’t know if I’m supposed to be looking out for a cyclist riding along a dark road or if Grimace is going to spring up out of a magical land and attack me!
'The Old Lady' made her long awaited return to the competition after a two year stint in Italy's nether regions and it took them some time to break down a youthful and hard working Zenit side. Perhaps it was her tired legs or previous syphilis infections that made her slow and rusty in the opening half, but just as she was getting ready to throw in the towel one of her oldest toy boys stepped up and slipped one past the keeper. It just goes to show, the eagerness of a young boy doesn't always conquer the needs of an experienced old lady!
Man. United 0 v 0 Villarreal
Celtic 0 v 0 AaB
FC Steaua Bucureşti 0 v 1 Bayern
Lyon 2 v 2 Fiorentina
Porto 3 v 1 Fenerbahçe
Dynamo Kyiv 1 v 1 Arsenal
Juventus 1 v 0 Zenit
Real Madrid 2 v 0 BATE
Captain courageous to the rescue... 2 times! Kudos for the first goal, it had quality stamped all over it... but anyway I knew Liverpool would win it... and even picked the exact score, so to a more pressing issue at hand... anyone know what the go is with the Liverpool jersey? If it was my guess, I’d say Robbie Fowler was behind it… wanting to relive his glory days with the reds he probably walked into Carlsberg HQ, kitted out in his Torres replica jersey, drunkenly demanding cases of beer as just reward for his record breaking fastest hat-trick (4min 32sec) back in ’94… then in record time he was then thrown out and Liverpool dumped by their shirt sponsor. Good one jack-ass!
I’m not even going to bother with this one... a split second after it was revealed that these two teams would meet at Stamford Bridge for the first match of the UCL campaign... the writing was already on the wall!
I'll quickly switch my attention to Roma's shock loss to CFR... who is this team!? It sound's more like a brand of sugar than a football team but I'm sure to their fans that victory was sweet enough. Romans are douche-bag's... and yes Abramovich I'm referring to you too!
Panathinaikos were unlucky not to get more from this match after they missed a wealth of chances in front of a lively home crowd… and that's why they were punished. All I know is that Ibrahimovic must really hate Greek teams... first the Euro, now this... it's like he's possessed by the angry souls of his Yugoslavian ancestors raging war about land or heritage or some shit like that... anyway, things are looking up for Inter... and Zlatan looks like he's very much Murinho's "New Drogba"... Wait! hold the phone! Maybe he is possessed by Drogba!? That'll explain why Drogba's been MIA for some while now. Forget the "injury" Chelsea have lead everyone to believe... Ibrahimovic = Drogba... I'm onto something here and so are Inter. It'll be interesting to see where this flourishing relationship takes them... if not Rome for the final, I'm guessing Tijuana for tequila and quality time together!
Results:
Chelsea 4 v 0 Bordeaux
Roma 1 v 2 CFR 1907 Cluj
Panathinaikos 0 v 2 Internazionale
Bremen 0 v 0 Anorthosis
Basel 1 v 2 Shakhtar
Barcelona 3 v 1 Sporting
PSV 0 v 3 Atlético
Marseille 1 v 2 Liverpool
So here we go again for another year of European action and as always this year's comp will feature a wealth of great talent. In terms of sheer entertainment, I think the UCL is up there as one of the best competitions to watch. It's definitely my favourite! I wasn't even put off by the painstakingly early starts while in Australia and now that I'm in the UAE... well I'll be able come home after a hard day’s yakka, crack open a can of whatever's lurking in the fridge, kick my feet up and enjoy a top notch mid week match...*crack* ahh... it's what dreams are made of ain't they!?
Also, to make things a little more interesting I've signed up to the Uefa Champions League Predictor. I had a pretty good season last year and picked a lot of results... so look out all you 'Predictors', (in my best Sly Stallone voice) I'm coming to get you!
Username: ptpundit
Tuesday matches
Chelsea 2 v 0 Bordeaux
Roma 3 v 1 CFR 1907 Cluj
Panathinaikos 1 v 1 Internazionale
Bremen 2 v 1 Anorthosis
Basel 1 v 1 Shakhtar
Barcelona 2 v 2 Sporting
PSV 1 v 0 Atlético
Marseille 1 v 2 Liverpool
Wednesday matches
Man. United 2 v 2 Villarreal
Celtic 2 v 0 Aalborg BK
FC Steaua Bucureşti 0 v 1 Bayern
Lyon 3 v 2 Fiorentina
Porto 1 v 1 Fenerbahçe
Dynamo Kyiv 1 v 3 Arsenal
Juventus 1 v 1 Zenit
Real Madrid 3 v 0 FC BATE Borisov
Like a modern day Robinhood he stepped up to take a swipe at his summer transfer suitors and with some deflected help he was able to pierce their goal. It was like stealing from the rich to give to the… erm… rich and in the world of Chelsea an offense punishable by severe ass kicking… but never the less one hellofa way to announce his arrival in England! So it was also a pity that from that point on, City were pumbled into submission and were made to look average all over the park… major reinforcements will be required in January but till then this will prove that money can’t buy you everything.
Robinho older news
Transfer Window - Closed!
Hot Air Everywhere!
Transfer Talk
Other sources
Robinho scores after 13 mins but Chelsea make City pay
Scolari hails Robinho
Scolari: Robinho Worth Every Penny
Finally, the world’s biggest underachievers stepped up and gave their delusional fans something to actually cheer about. Forget the victory over Andorra at the weekend, a win over Croatia was worth more than just 3 points... it was like payback for their Euro qualifier defeat at Wembley last year... well almost. It was more like watching a Croat give it to your ex-missus all summer on a beautiful beach, while you only managed a disco pash with his sister... that’s the kind’a satisfaction England must be feeling right now.
Match highlights:
Other sources:
Walcott bags hattrick in England win
Walcott Hat Trick Stuns Croatia
Walcott shines in England romp
Like an episode of the X-files, the Socceroos travelled to the unknown… and made it out alive won! It was a great start to the second phase of qualifying and one that Verbeek was proud of:
It was an exciting game and a good one for our team. It was a great start to our campaign but only a start… You should never underestimate the value of winning here in Tashkent and we have shown today how difficult it is to beat Australia but there are still three more away games to come."
The Socceroos do battle tomorrow night against an Uzbek side that was given a reality check in their opening match against Qatar a few nights ago.
Sure the Uz came into the second phase of the qualifiers undefeated and a little too over confident, but their 3-0 loss must have grounded them quick smart. Could this be a good thing for the Ozzies?… well I don't think so. By now they would have regrouped and are aware that if they don’t give it their all on Wednesday night, Thursday morning (AEST), they'll almost certainly be out of contention for a finals spot. They're at home and they'll come out attacking if they want results.
Pim and Co. on the other hand have had a great build up and will be brimming with confidence after beating a 10-man Netherlands and drawing against South Africa two weeks ago. The lack of firepower upfront has been a major talking point all over the media in recent weeks, but the reality is when it matters the team has been scoring goals. Granted, the Ozzies are in dire need of an out 'n out hitman, but I think everyone keeps forgetting that it's a team sport and collectively the team is capable of scoring and has been. Josh Kennedy is finding his feet… and head, Emerton is always threatening, Bresch is capable of delivering on the big occasions and well Hazza is ever reliable... just don't bank on Holman... he'd have trouble scoring without a keeper in goals.
My concern is rather the defense and their inability to keep a clean sheet, but I'll leave that discussion for another post... post Uzbek match maybe? I expect a tough match and one of few opportunities for both teams.
I predict:
Uzbekistan 1 v 1 Australia
Stream the match live from everyone's favourite Iraq web channel Iraqgoal.com.
Here, here or here
New Manchester City owner Dr Sulaiman Al-Fahim is prepared to fund a £135 million offer for Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo in January.
It is also reported City will look to target the likes of Liverpool striker Fernando Torres and Arsenal midfielder Cesc Fabregas as the club aim to build a side capable of achieving success in Europe's most prestigious competition.
Hold onto your hats folks… there’s a new "Chelsea" in town and when money is no obstacle you can spit out crazy mumbo jumbo like this… doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to happen though.
Ronaldo has said he wants to play for the biggest club in the world, so we will see in January if he is serious," Al-Fahim told the Guardian.
"Real Madrid were estimating his value at 160 million (US) dollars (A$190million)) but for a player like that, to actually get him, will cost a lot more; I would think 240 million dollars (A$290million).
"But why not? We are going to be the biggest club in the world, bigger than both Real Madrid and Manchester United.
"We're not just going to spend money on anyone, but if we can get the biggest players in the world, and of course if the manager wants them, then we will get them."
"We want a team who can win the Champions League," he added.
Talk about coming out of the woodwork!
Only yesterday I read a report that Manchester City were being bought out by Abu Dhabi United Company for Development and Investment but apparently it was a deal that had been in the works for about 3 weeks. Then news broke that City were in the race to pip United for Berba’s signature… awesome, I always love rivalries. This morning I awoke to the news that City had come in over the top of Chelsea for a crack at Robinho… and got him! Double awesome! And shit was Mark Hughes ecstatic!
I have said that in order to compete with the best teams in the Premier League we have to be in the market for players of this calibre, and Robinho is undoubtedly one of the best players in the world.
"I am really looking forward to introducing him to the rest of the squad, and to the City fans at the earliest opportunity. This is a real statement of intent as to the ambitions of Manchester City Football Club."
